


More Than Meets The Eye

by ActualAchievementHunterTrash



Category: The Walking Dead (TV)
Genre: Methyl, Multi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-01
Updated: 2015-06-30
Packaged: 2018-03-20 19:13:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 15
Words: 41,681
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3661755
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ActualAchievementHunterTrash/pseuds/ActualAchievementHunterTrash
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Beth knew she should stay far from Merle Dixon, but he's starting to grow on her. And what of the other Dixon brother? Obviously an AU fic, where Merle and Beth both live longer than AMC has written. Begins at the end of Season 3. This is a mix of complete smut and genuine plot. Rated M for obvious reasons, not much graphic violence, just a lot of graphic sexual scenes.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The Things We Do

**Author's Note:**

> Hey guys, this is my first fic on AO3, but I have posted this story to fanfiction.net. I just love it so much and I wanted to share with all of you. So please read and review. I'll try to update every Wednesday, although some days it might be later than others.

_Got a good setup here._ Merle Dixon thought as he sat in his locked cell at the prison.  _Food, shelter. Some pretty women too._ It was dark outside, and he could hear the group downstairs discussing what they were gonna do about the redneck asshole that Officer Friendly's bitch had dragged in. From what he could hear, they were getting nowhere fast, so he laid back on the torn up mattress. He chuckled and 

thought sarcastically,  _Only thing that could make this better is some coke and a nice tall bottle of Jack._  Merle drifted off to sleep.

Beth sat on the steps of the cell block, cradling Judith and listening to the debate. She didn't know the man, but anyone that beat up Glenn that bad and scared Maggie half to death was not someone she wanted anything to do with. Hell, Maggie had almost killed Merle when he walked into the prison with Rick and Daryl. Maggie was yelling and cussing, waving her gun in his face. Glenn was right behind her, not wielding a gun, but not doing anything to stop her either. Maggie even got in a good right hook before Glenn and Rick pulled her off of him.

Truthfully, the man scared her too. He was taller than Daryl, older, and the quick look she got at his face revealed that he had lived the same hard life as Daryl, maybe harder. She didn't know anything about the man, but one thing was clear: she should stay far away from him.

* * *

Merle woke to the sound of a key turning in the metal lock of the cell door. Daryl was there with a bowl of breakfast oatmeal.

"So you and Officer Friendly come to a decision last night? Or were you up tellin' bedtime stories to each other instead?" Merle asked, a smirk on his face.

"Fuck you. Do ya good to learn to keep yer trap shut once in a while."

Something snapped inside Merle, and Daryl could see the anger flare up behind his brother's eyes. "Well what the hell they waitin' on, huh? The Governor's gonna hit'chu any day now, and ya'll are down there fightin' about what to do with me? I'll tell ya what to do with me." Merle got up and stomped out into the cell block. "Hell, I'll tell all ya'll! Ya'll need me! The Governor's about to go bustin' through the rest of them gates out there, and ya need me!"

"Merle, sit yer ass down!" Daryl called from inside the cell.

"No, you listen good! Ya'll left me fer dead! Now you got a good place, a damn nice place to settle yerselves down. Least you can do is spare me the fuckin' suspense and tell me if I'm stayin' or if little brother and I are gettin' the hell outta here!" The silence that followed was deafening, until Rick stepped up.

"He's right." The group turned to look at him. "I know we all aren't on the best terms, but we need a man from the inside if we wanna find out what this Governor is capable of." Merle leaned back on the railing, a smug look on his face. "Now that don't mean that we have to let you stay here. We could lock you up in that cell for all I care. But we're not gonna do that, because we're better than that."

Beth watched this ordeal from on of the cells almost directly under Merle. She watched the tall man yell, spit flying from his mouth. She had stories about him; he was racist, sexist, and basically an asshole to anyone he met.  _I guess the people giving him food and shelter were no exception._ The group went on to discuss plans for the Governor, and Carol came to get Jude ready for the day.

* * *

The next day Rick announced that he was going to meet with the Governor. He, Daryl, and Hershel set out in the morning. Everyone was racked with worry, but Merle was especially anxious. Beth could hear him yelling about his brother, and Glenn and Maggie were trying to ignore him. She absently thought about how strong his bond to his brother was. Then there was a loud thud and the sound of fists hitting flesh.  _Are you kidding me?_

She ran out and grabbed a handgun off of the table. She fired a shot into the ceiling, and the three of them immediately stopped and stared at her. She calmly put down the gun and walked out.

Merle yelled "Get off me!" and stared after the girl.  _How come I never noticed her before?_

* * *

That night Rick walked up to Merle, who was tearing apart another mattress. He sighed. "Nothin'. Some a the best dope I ever had was in a mattress. This place musta been no fun at all." Merle chuckled and sat back against the wall.

"Do you even know why you do the things you do? The choices you make?" Rick asked. Merle just stared up at him. Rick continued, "If we give the Governor Michonne, Woodbury stands down."

Merle contemplated that for a minute then asked, "Anybody else know?"

Rick talked to him about it for a while, but after they were done, he still wasn't sure whether Merle was in or out. Before he walked away, Merle said, "Don't know why I do the things I do. Never did. I'm a damn mystery to me." Rick just walked away.

A plan had formed in Merle's head while he was talking to Officer Friendly. He knew that it would never get done if Rick was in charge. He set out to find that black bitch.

An hour later, the man was driving down a back road with Michonne tied up in the passenger seat. Somewhere along the way, something had changed Merle's mind. Maybe it was the way he had protected Michonne, or the conversation that they had earlier. Suddenly, he stopped the car and cut Michonne's wire. "Go. I got somethin' I gotta do on my own."

Merle drove fast down the road and grabbed the sniper from behind his seat. He knew it was a suicide mission. He wasn't making it back to the prison. But that son of a bitch needed to die. When he got to the warehouses, he holed up in one of the buildings and began executing his plan. He picked off the Governor's men one by one. He had the bastard in his sights when a walker bit down on his metal arm. He cried out and flipped the thing off, stabbing it in the head.

Before he knew what was happening, the Governor's men were on him, kicking and punching mercilessly. He swore and tried to get a hold on one of them. The Governor took him in a chokehold and yelled, "Leave him to me!" Phillip dragged him back into the warehouse and threw him on the ground. He pulled him back up and beat him until his face was damn near unrecognizable. The Governor leveled his gun at him, and Merle stood still with his chin high.  _So this is where it ends._   _I'm sorry Daryl._

The Governor cocked back the hammer and cried out in pain as a bullet was lodged in his thigh. He went down, writhing in pain. Merle reacted fast, killing two of the men attacking him and heard, "Duck!" He did as he was told and ducked. Another round of gunfire flew past him, and the man coming at him with a crowbar dropped. His chest was riddled with bullet holes.

He saw the Governor crawl to his pistol and start firing randomly. He got the hell out of there; he knew the Governor was walker bait for-fucking-sure. When he rounded the corner of the building, he caught his breath and looked around for the man that had just saved his life.

"The hell were you thinking?! He was gonna fuckin' kill ya! What the hell was this, this suicide mission?!" He turned to the sound of his brother's voice and promptly got an elbow to the jaw. His head flew back, and his vision went red.

"I was doin' what Officer Friendly back at yer precious prison didn't have the balls to do!"

Daryl looked at him hard, and they both knew that wasn't the only reason he had done this. Daryl had seen Michonne on the way here. "Yeah well yer gonna get yer sorry ass back to that precious prison. I ain't losin' you too." Daryl grabbed Merle by the back of the collar, and Merle swayed slightly. Daryl moved to put an arm under his older brother's shoulders, but Merle shrugged him off violently. He stumbled into a tree, grasping it tightly to keep his balance.

"Come on, ya asshole. Lemme help you."

"Oh yeah yer all about helpin' people these days, huh little brother?" Merle rolled his eyes, but he knew he was fading fast. Blood dripped down into his eyes, and his arms were slick with it too. Daryl slipped his arm back under him, and they limped back to the prison. He whistled a signal when they were close, and Carol and Maggie distracted the walkers while Carl opened the inside gate for them. They ran through the yard full of walkers and into the cell block.

Merle was incoherent by then; his eyes rolled around unseeingly, and his body sagged. Someone yelled for Hershel, and Rick helped Daryl set him down in one of the cells. Hershel checked him out and determined that he had 3 broken ribs, a broken nose, and a cracked jaw, although that was probably from when Daryl had hit him. A bullet had also grazed his left shoulder, leaving a chunk of skin missing. He was bruised from head to toe. Hershel put an IV in his arm and have him pain medication strong enough to knock him out for at least a day to heal.

"Bethy, can you watch him for a while? We need to talk to Daryl," Hershel asked of his youngest daughter. "Carl will be here, and we'll be right down the hall in the library."

"Okay daddy," Beth answered. She sat down in the chair next to the bunk and looked briefly at Merle. He was pale, since he did lose a lot of blood. She hadn't been this close to him since he got here, and she took this time to study his features. He looked a lot like Daryl: the long nose, the sturdy jaw line. Even their body shapes were the same, albeit Merle's was a bit older. She wasn't sure how old he was, but she knew Daryl was in his 30s, and Merle had to be a few years older. He was greying, but she could see blonde in his buzz cut hair. His thick stubble was greying too.

Wrinkles ceased his face, but whether that was from age, stress, or years of smoking she couldn't tell. She leaned closer to him, and she could hear his steady breathing. She watched his eyes move under the lids and wondered if he was dreaming.  _What does a man like Merle Dixon dream about?_ She sat back in her chair and opened her copy of  _Looking For Alaska._ It was one of the many books she has salvaged from the houses they had stayed in over the last year, but it was her favorite.

* * *

It was dark when Merle opened his eyes. Pitch black. He wasn't lying on the cot anymore; he was propped up in a chair. He went to wipe the sleep from his eyes but found that his hands and feet were tired to the chair. He struggled against the wire restraints until he heard a familiar voice say "Oh good. You're awake." His head whipped to the side with the force of the punch that hit him in the next second.

He spit out a mouthful of blood and tried to cuss at the motherfucker that dared to hit him. But when he opened his mouth, no sound came out.

"What's the matter? Governor got your tongue?" Phillip stepped out of the shadow and laughed menacingly.

Merle strained against his ties, but everything was in slow motion. Suddenly the Governor's face melted into a decaying, lifeless corpse, and it lurched toward Merle. He tried to get away, but it was like swimming through sludge. Frantically, Merle pulled at the restraints, pulled until his wrists were dripping with blood. The Governor-turned-walker grabbed him by the shoulders and chomped into his neck. Merle let out a cry of pain and terror.

He shot out of the bed, thrashing. It was dark, but he could see the faint moonlight shining in from the windows. The young girl from before was flattened against the wall opposite the bed, and Daryl had his gun pointed at Merle. He looked around wildly. His breath came in short gasps, and he tried to suck down as much as he could. When Daryl saw that he hadn't turned into one of  _them_ , he lowered his weapon.

The IV was sticking painfully out of his arm, having came unhooked when he woke up and started flailing. Merle was about to pull it out when the girl - Beth? - moved toward him. He flinched, still on edge from the nightmare. She put her hands up and inched closer to a hand on his forearm and the other in his shoulder, she pressed lightly and he laid back down warily. Her touch soothed him, and though he tried not to, he still hissed in pain when the needle was pulled from his arm.

"Sorry," Beth muttered. Merle shifted in the bed; something was uncomfortable about his trousers. He propped himself up on his good arm.  _Well shit._  He had pissed himself because of that fucking dream. He looked up menacingly at Beth, who had no doubt noticed it. She scrambled up and leaned close to Daryl, facing away from Merle. Daryl nodded and walked over to his brother, grabbing a new pair of shorts from his bag.

"Don't you fuckin' tell anyone, ya hear?" Beth heard Merle threaten Daryl before she slipped out to give them the privacy she was sure Merle wanted.

* * *

The next morning Hershel determined that Merle was okay to sit up and eat, but he wasn't allowed to leave that cell. By now everyone had heard about what he had done for them. Of course to Merle, he had done it for himself and for Daryl, but the others didn't know that. They all stopped by to thank him or ask if he needed anything. He hated the attention, except when the little girl came to sit with him. He knew she was just doing it to give her daddy a break, but he still liked her company.

In two more days he was able to walk and work again, and immediately they started preparing for the day that the governor would attack. And that day came. The Governor attacked from all sides with grenades and ambushes. Merle shot at the attackers mercilessly but always kept the young girl in his sight. The prison group fought them off until the men and women retreated. Rick led a party to Woodbury to gather the remaining citizens and bring them to the prison.

Merle watched from the guard tower as they all filed off the bus and into cell block D. Carl looked on in disgust, and Merle could see the specs of anger and resentment in the kid's eyes. He saw himself in the boy; he saw the angry little kid he had been, and he hadn't even had to grow up in a world gone to shit like this boy did.

* * *

In the season that followed Merle helped out with what he could, working on cars, fixing fences, and taking watch most nights. He could tell people still didn't like him, let alone even begin to trust him. The Woodbury people cowered in fear and pulled their children behind them when he walked into the room.

But he noticed Beth had been around him more and more in the past few months. She was a little thing, with long blonde hair and fair skin. Her voice was quiet and she didn't talk much, but when she did, people listened. Merle definitely listened. Something had happened to him that night, when he woke from the nightmare. Her light touch on his arm and the soft care in her eyes changed something in him. And Merle knew there was no going back.


	2. In Your Eyes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys for the kudos! I know Chapter 1 was a bit slow, but this one picks it up! Hope you enjoy, and please leave reviews! :)

Night watch never bothered Merle. He liked the quiet. He didn’t need everyone going about their daily business and such while he had to sit up here and make sure none of ‘em got eaten. Night watch was peaceful; you could almost block out the noise of the walkers on the fence if you tried hard enough. It was looking to be a pretty dull night when he heard a knock on the door.

“Come on in,” he yelled, turning around to see who it was. He was surprised to see the little blonde standing in the doorway.

“Rick was gonna come up to take watch, since you’ve done it almost every night this week, but he’s been so busy that I offered to do it.” Beth shuffled her feet awkwardly. “So you can go to bed if you want.” Beth was always so nervous around the older man. He radiated intimidation.

“Well thank ya, but I’m alright. Can’t sleep much these days anyway,” Merle responded, looking back out at the fields. On the outside he seemed calm and collected, but internally he was a little nervous too. He didn’t get this girl, hell he never got any of the chicks in his past. Granted most of the never stuck around for more than a night and -- wait. Why was he comparing this kid to one of the whores he used to fuck?

Lost in thought, Merle didn’t hear Beth say, “Yeah me either. Mind if I sit up here for a while then?” When Merle didn’t answer, didn’t even turn around, Beth took that as an invitation to get the hell out, so she just mumbled, “Nevermind,” and walked quietly down the stairs.

 _Oh shit._ “Hold on kid!” Beth was halfway down the stairs when Merle lumbered after her. “Sorry, I get like that sometimes. Didn’t mean to ignore ya. Ya can sit up here long as ya like.” Beth took a seat facing the courtyard, and Merle settled down next to her, with a chair in between them.

“It’s a nice night out. Surprised it stopped raining for more than an hour,” Beth said, attempting small talk. Merle grunted in response, and Beth again saw the similarities between him and Daryl.

“I admire your love for your brother.” Beth was surprised by her own bluntness.

Merle leaned back and studied her. “S’nothin’. Blood’s blood.”

“Yeah, but I don’t think Maggie would do for me what you did for Daryl, or what he did for you.”

“Hey now, Maggie loves ya. Why would you say that she wouldn’t do that for ya?”

“Because she has Glenn and daddy and probably a baby someday. You two just have each other. You don’t have as much to live for.” Beth’s wide eyes snapped to the man’s. “That came out wrong.” Beth bit her lip nervously as Merle shook his head.

“Nah, it’s fine. I knew whatcha meant. Truth is, that asshole _is_ all I got left. Even before this, all we had was each other. Ya know we didn’t have a winnin’ upbringing?” Beth nodded. “Well there was this one time, we was alone in the shack our pisshead of a father drug us to every summer. ‘Fore juvy, ‘fore the army. I was drunk, ‘course, and Daryl couldn’ta been more ‘an 10 years old. He was complainin’ about the heat, or the house, or some shit. Well I got so fed up with his bitchin’ that I pull my huntin’ knife on him. Backed him right up to the door. We was both yellin’, until he goes, ‘Fuck you.’” Beth cocked her head at him, confused by why we was telling this story.

“Now this kid wasn’t like me. He had a smoke once in a while, a beer here ‘n’ there. And he ain’t never said fuck before, least as far as I knew. I let him go and start laughin’. Damn near made myself sick I laughed so hard. He was pissed at me for a minute, then he started laughin’ right along with me.” Merle chuckled at the memory. “Point is, it don’t matter what happens, we ain’t got nobody else. So we better off stickin’ together. Lookin’ out for each other.”

Beth nodded, sympathetic. She had a good childhood, other than a few classic teenage rebellious acts. Merle, even with his minimal social skills, could tell that she didn’t know what to say. He propped his feet up on the desk in front of him and said, “Your turn.”

“What?”

“I told ya a story. Now ya gotta tell me one.”

Beth’s cheeks heated at the thought of being put on the spot, and she was thankful for the dark night. Little did she know that while Merle’s face was cast in shadow, hers was illuminated fairly well from Merle’s point of view. He laughed internally; the little girl could blush at anything.

“Um, okay. What kinda story?”

“Anything. Got all the time in the world up here.” _Especially for a pretty girl like her._

They spent the next hours talking about life before the end of the world. It was mainly Beth talking, telling stories about Maggie or Hershel or her mama, who died before Rick’s group joined them back at the farm. Merle didn’t have much to add, but he just liked to listen to the little one’s voice. Before they knew it, the sun was coming up on the horizon. Merle stared out at the prison for a while, the both of them sitting in content silence.

“Haven’t had that much fun in a long while. Yer a real good story teller,” Merle said.

A blush spread across the girl’s face again. “Thank you.”

“Well you better get yerself on to bed. Carol’ll be comin’ up for watch soon.”

Beth picked up her jacket and walked past him to the door. She stopped behind him and set her hand lightly on his shoulder. “Thank you. I never really said it to you.”

Merle turned around slowly. “Ya just said it, darlin’.”

“Yeah, but I mean for everything. For protecting us,” Beth answered, smiling quietly.

“Like I said ‘fore, s’nothin’.”

“Mhm. Good night.”

She let her hand slip off Merle’s shoulder, unknowingly leaving a trail of heat from his neck down the the length of his arm. He nodded at her, and she was gone.

Beth walked to her cell feeling strange. She had just spent all night talking to Merle Dixon. The man she told herself to steer clear of from the beginning. But last night was good. She had opened up a lot more than she expected. And he even had some good stories, when he wasn’t too busy laughing at hers. She chuckled to herself. He looked good laughing; smiling was something none of the survivors did enough of lately. There was more to this man than what everyone thought, and she saw a glimpse of that tonight. He dominated her thoughts until she peacefully drifted off to sleep.

Merle headed to his bunk a few minutes after Beth. _What the hell ya think yer doin’? Ya better not be thinkin’ what I think ya are!_ His mind berated him in Daryl’s voice. _A redneck asshole like you don’t deserve her. Ya don’t deserve nothin’._ Merle buried his face in the pillow to block out the voice and soon he was in a fitful sleep.

* * *

 

Rick had entrusted in Merle the job of teaching some of Woodbury’s people how to shoot, so when he woke up that afternoon he took a group of them out to the back of the prison where he had set up a row of targets. Carl, Beth, and Carol came along too, just to stay at the top of their game. He unloaded the bag of guns and talked first about gun safety, then how to hold the gun. He passed the guns out and walked by each person, adjusting their grip or stance. Beth stood tall and held her gun expertly. She knew how to shoot, having been taught by Rick and Shane back at the farm. She was hyper aware of Merle coming closer and closer to her with each person he passed. She felt his presence behind her, _close_ behind her, but maybe that was her overactive imagination. _I shouldn’t even be thinking like that._ Clearing her mind, she shot fast, taking out five targets.

“Doin’ fine, kid,” Merle said gruffly, then moved on to Carol. Beth lowered her gun and stared after him. _What’s his problem?_

When the sun settled on the horizon, Merle shouted, “Pack it up!” The group all put their guns into their holsters or in the old sheriff’s bag and headed into the prison. While most of the group was busying themselves putting away their weapons, two of the more rowdy Woodbury teenagers hung back, hiding their guns in their waistbands. The group was halfway through the tombs when a shot rang behind them. Sprinting back through the big hallways, they rounded the corner to find the two boys staring down at the gun in between them.

“We-we were j-just messing around, and I-I swear I thought the s-safety was off, but it-it went off!” The first boy stammered. The boys’ mother pushed through the crowd, frantically asking if they were hit. They shook their heads no.

The next thing the boy knew he was being lifted off of his feet and slammed into the wall. The thick metal of Merle’s mechanical hand pressed hard into his windpipe.

“The hell you think you was doin’?! You think this is a fuckin’ game? You coulda killed somebody!” The boy stammered out idle excuses with wide eyes. “We been any closer, and you coulda killed yer mother! Is that what you want? Huh?!” Tears fell to the teen’s cheeks.

“Merle, stop!” Carol yelled, cradling the boy’s mother in a tight embrace.

The continued on like Carol hadn’t said a word. “Not to mention ya just fuckin’ brought down every walker in this goddamn place with that shot! I should shoot ya in the leg, leave ya here for ‘em. Or make yer brother do it, since you two seem to like guns so fuckin’ much, useless piece a shit.”

Beth ran up to him and grabbed his good arm, urging him to let go of the boy. His eyes snapped to hers and in them she saw pure, unadulterated rage. Before she could say anything else, she was sprawled out on the floor three feet away, her cheek stinging. Her hand flew to her face, and tears flooded her eyes. Merle looked at her in shock for a millisecond; then she blinked and his face was the hard, rage-filled mask from before.

Carol rushed to her side and helped her up. The two women looked at Merle, who gave one last push to the boy and let him down, stalking back down the hallway. The crowd parted for him, no one daring to mess with the man whose anger was rolling of him in waves. It was a quiet walk back through the prison; Beth sniffling subsided before they reached the cell block.

When they filed into the kitchen, Beth pulled from Carol’s light grasp on her and mumbled, “I’m gonna go to bed.” She slipped into the cell block unnoticed by the group, except for Merle, who looked after her with pain in his dark eyes.

He told Rick and the others about the incident, leaving out his particularly brutal participation. He said goodnight to the group and headed to his bunk, contemplating whether or not he should talk to the girl. Checking to make sure no one had followed him into the cell block, he rapped on the metal outside Beth’s room.

“Just a second!” Beth said then pulled back the curtain. Her face fell into a frown, and her eyes grew wide at the sight of Merle. He could see four red lines on her cheek, the exact pattern of his one good hand. His old heart clenched at the proof that he had hurt this little girl.

“Hey listen I-” he started, but was abruptly interrupted by the slamming of the curtain in his face. Taking a chance, he pulled the curtain back again and continued, “‘M sorry.”

Beth was standing at her mirror, trying to apply foundation to the marks on her pale cheek. “It’s fine. I’m fine.”

“Nah it ain’t. Just want ya t’ know I didn’t mean to hurt ya.”

“Okay. You said that, so now you can leave.”

“M’kay. G’night.” Merle let the curtain fall behind him as he trudged to his room.

As soon as Merle was gone, Beth put down the makeup and held back a sob. She had never been hit before, at least not by the living, and definitely not by a man. But it was more than that. Her cheek would heal. It was the anger in his eyes that scared her more than anything. It was like he didn’t even recognize her. _Not that he should have. I mean, we talked for one night. So what?_ Strangely, she wasn’t as mad at him as she made it seem. He was troubled, he had been through so much more than half of the people at the prison. Beth kept telling herself as she laid down in bed and tried to fall asleep.


	3. Demons Inside

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm real proud of this chapter! Hope you enjoy!

Beth woke to the sound of voices outside her room. She got up and looked in the mirror. The lines on her cheek had faded a bit over night, but there was still a dull red outline on each of them. She applied as much cover-up as she could without it looking out of place and walked out, saying good morning to the little group gathered around Judith, who was trying to crawl into Carol’s lap. When she gave up and started whimpering in defeat, Beth swooped in and picked her up, planting a big kiss on her rosy cheeks. She brought her into the kitchen and fed herself and Jude a hearty breakfast of oatmeal.

Merle was seated with his back to her at one of the tables with Daryl, and Tyreese was getting plates for the three of them. Beth sat down on the other side of the room, watching Merle talk quietly to Daryl. When he got up to refill his canteen, he caught her eye and looked away quickly. She saw shame, anger, guilt in that one fleeting gaze. Maybe she shouldn’t have been so quick to dismiss him last night.

They spent the day doing the usual tasks, cleaning, cooking, tilling the gardens. Merle was suspiciously absent for most of the day. She was feeding their horse when she felt a hand grip her arm and pull her behind the shed. She almost yelled out when she saw that it was Merle, but she knew she could handle herself, so she kept her mouth in a straight line.

They stared at each other for a moment, Beth stern and strong, Merle worried and visibly upset. Beth broke their stare when she saw Merle’s hand reach for her and flinched. He stopped. “I’m not gonna hurt you.”

His hand moved again, and he touched her cheek lightly, wiping off some of the makeup. He sucked in a breath. “I-I don’t know what happened yesterday.”

“You were so cruel to that boy. And when you looked at me, it was like you were a totally different person from the man I talked to about childhood stories two nights ago. I thought you were getting better.”

“I don’t know, girl. It ain’t easy t’ change an old fucker like me. Been tryin’. Fer my brother.”

“Well I’m not angry about this” -she gestured to her cheek- “just so you know. But you do it again?” She tried to look firm, intimidating even. “You’re gonna be no match for me.”

The absurdity of this little girl having the guts to stand up to a guy like him made Merle almost laugh out loud. He cracked a smile, and she looked at him angrily.

“Asshole,” she muttered before walking back out to feed the animals. Merle could tell she was smiling though.

* * *

 

Beth settled down to dinner with Maggie, Glenn, and Hershel. Maggie immediately caught sight of her cheek and gasped.

“Beth, what happened to you?!” Beth’s hand flew up to her cheek. Merle had wiped off some of the makeup earlier. She looked around nervously for a second, deciding whether she would tell them the truth or not. She knew she should; Carol had told her stories from before the apocalypse, of her and Ed. But they already didn’t like Merle, hardly anyone did. And he had said himself that it was an accident.

“Oh, just slept on it wrong. Been feelin’ weird all day, so I’ve just scratched it a little,” Beth said, looking at Maggie hopefully.

“No, that looks like more than that. Are you sure?”

“Yeah, I’m-”

“It was Merle.” Carol stood behind the young girl. They all turned to her, then to Merle who stood in the doorway eating his food.

“What?!” Maggie got up and looked from Beth to Merle. “Did you fucking touch her?”

Beth answered instead. “No, Maggie, it was an accident! He was trying to talk to a kid on the way back from shooting practice, and he turned and accidently hit me!”

“Bullshit! I’m gonna cut your other hand off, you worthless piece of shit!” Maggie pulled her gun on Merle, and he stood tall, looking down on the fiery Greene sister. The room erupted into shouts, at both sides of the argument.

“Ya best listen to little sister there.” was all Merle said. He couldn’t say anything more. He had hit her, he had done it on purpose. Whether he was in his right mind or not at the time wouldn’t have mattered to Maggie.

“Everybody calm down!” Rick yelled from the middle of the room.

Hershel stood up. “If Beth said it was an accident, I don’t see why we’re even having this conversation. You folks don’t believe my daughter is telling the truth?”

The room quieted down at that, but Maggie’s gun was still pointed at Merle, and Glenn had an arm around her waist.

“Maggie, hun. You know shootin’ him would do none a us any good right now.” Hershel reasoned with his oldest daughter.

She looked back at her father and let out a breath as she lowered the weapon. She threw a menacing glance at Merle, who stood staring past her. The girl was holding onto her daddy’s arm. They walked slowly back into the cell block.

Rick glared at Merle as he followed them. Merle turned abruptly and walked into the tombs. He didn’t know where he was going, but he knew he needed to be far from that goddamn cell block. The realization that Beth had lied to protect him hit him, and he stopped. _Shit. What the hell did I get myself into now?_

* * *

 

The next morning Beth rolled out of bed and saw that most of the red marks had faded. She put on a little bit of makeup and went to breakfast. Merle walked in a little while later, not that Beth was looking for him or anything. She gasped when she saw his face. His bottom lip was cut and his right eye had a black ring around it. She resisted the urge to run over to him, because she knew that whatever happened to him was because of his association with her.

Beth was fuming when her sister walked in with Glenn. She urgently whispered to her, “I thought daddy told you to not do anything to Merle!”

“What are you talking about?”

“Look at him and tell me you didn’t do that to his face!” Maggie found Merle in the room and suppressed a cruel laugh.

“No I didn’t Beth, but it looks like he got what he deserves. That asshole should never had laid a hand on you in the first place.” Their voices had risen by now, and Hershel and Glenn were watching the two sisters.

“It was an accident, Maggie!”

“You know that’s bullshit! He wants you to think that, so you won’t give us the signal to kill him!”

Beth was about to yell at her, but at that comment she closed her mouth. “That’s what you think of me? That I would tell you to kill someone? I know we’ve all changed, Maggie, but we must be a lot worse off than I can see to make you believe that that’s the kind of person I am.” Beth got up from the table and ran out the front door of the cell block.

“Beth!” Maggie yelled after her. She got up to follow her, but Hershel grabbed her arm. He gave her a look that said, “Let her go.” Maggie sat back down.

Merle moved toward the door, thinking that somebody should probably go after her. He got halfway there when Hershel put his hand on the man’s shoulder. “Son, was my girl telling that truth last night?”

“Yes’sir. I didn’t mean no harm to her.”

Hershel nodded and let go of Merle’s shoulder. Once he was outside, Merle looked around for the kid. He walked around to the back side of the prison, to one of the destroyed guard towers. Beth had mentioned that she liked it back here because it was farthest from the fences and hardly any walkers could be heard.

“Beth!” he called out. He saw a shape huddled against the tower. “Hey, ya alright?”

“M’Fine.” She sniffled.

“No ya ain’t. Maggie didn’t mean what she said back in there.”

“And how the hell would you know?”

“I don’t, just takin’ a wild guess ‘cause she’s yer sister. And I know me ‘n Daryl’ve said more than our fair share of insults.”

Beth looked up at him. “Why do you even care? Because of me, you got beat up by God knows who. Just stay away from me. All I do is mess everything up.” She got up and ran in the back door of the prison. Merle was about to follow, but thought better of it. _Let her cool off and she’ll come back when she’s ready._

He heard a scream from inside, and he sprinted to the door, pulling his gun from the holster. He ripped the door open and followed the sound of groans and yells down the hallway. Beth was backed against the wall, barely fighting off a big walker in a prison jumpsuit. Merle pulled it off her and shot it in the head.

Beth sobbed next to him, and she looked around with wide eyes. She had one hand twisted in Merle’s shirt; she clung on for dear life. She crumpled into his chest, whimpering. He heard more walkers coming down the tombs, drawn to them by the shot Merle had fired.

“We gotta go, Beth,” Merle growled. He half-pulled her back through the tombs and slammed the door behind them, sticking a wood plank against the door to hold it.

Rick was the first one to see them come out the building, and he called to the others. “We heard a shot! Are you okay?” Tyreese and Rick helped to barricade the door. Beth was still attached to Merle, digging her nails into his arm she was holding on so tight.

“Yeah we’re fine. A group of ‘em musta busted outta one of the cells back here,” Merle answered.

Maggie ran over to them and grabbed Beth in a tight hug. “I’m so sorry, Bethy.”

“It’s okay. I’m fine. Merle saved me,” Beth answered.

“Speakin’ a which, ya can take yer nails outta my arm any time,” Merle commented.

Beth pried her hand off of the older man and said, “Sorry.”

“Thank you,” Rick said to Merle.

He nodded, and they walked to front of the prison. They went about their daily tasks as usual. Once everyone was awake, they sent a group to deal with the walkers that had gotten free. Merle, Rick, Daryl, Glenn, Tyreese, and a few of the Woodbury men helped clear it out. They even found a few good guns and supplies.

Merle was on watch that night, so he went to lie down for a few hours.

* * *

 

Beth laid down in her little bunk, per the doctor’s, A.K.A. dad’s, orders. While she rested, she devised a plan. Around midnight, she snuck out of the cell block and made her way to the guard tower. The cool night air made her shiver in her pajama shorts and tank top. She climbed the stairs and cracked the door open. She flinched when it creaked softly, but Merle didn’t move. She cleared her throat to speak, hoping to scare him.

“Couldn’t sleep again darlin’?” He asked without turning around. She stood silent for a second then laughed.

“Yeah,” Beth finally said in defeat.

“What’s been keepin’ ya up?”

Beth took a deep breath. “You.”

Merle looked at her quizzically. “Whatchu mean, me?”

In the moonlight Beth looked like an average 18 year old girl. Blonde hair, big eyes, youthful body. Truthfully, she was so much more. She was feisty and brave and strong. Merle had learned this over the time he’d had at the prison.

She saw him studying her and asked, “What really happened to your face, if Maggie didn’t do it?”

He chuckled. “Daryl. Clocked me good for hittin’ ya.”

Beth stifled a little laugh. Merle shot her a look. “Sorry. That’s not funny.” As she said it, another laugh bubbled out of her chest, and soon they were both laughing. The rest came naturally. They settled into a nice pattern, telling stories and talking about everything they could possibly think of.

They needed this. They needed time to just look back on life and think “I’m glad we did what we did in the time we had.” And it made them realize that they still had time, time to do amazing things and time to do other stupid, crazy mistakes.

Beth stood up to demonstrate some story about a fight she and Maggie had back when they were kids, and Merle laughed as it was very involved and theatrical. She spun around, and her shoe lace got caught on a nail sticking out of the floor. She squealed as she fell forward, her hands landing on Merle’s chest. They both let out a little “oof!” at the impact, but when Beth looked up, Merle was staring straight into her eyes.

Her eyes flicked down to the rest of his face and back up again. It only took a fraction of a second, but Merle saw it. He leaned down, and Beth pulled herself up so that their lips were centimeters apart. They breathed in each other’s scents, sweat and salt and Georgia’s spring air.

They weren’t sure who moved first, but at some point it was too much, and their lips touched. Merle was hesitant, keeping his hands at his sides. He didn’t ask for anything, just let the young girl do what she wanted. Beth’s hands slid up his chest to circle his neck, and her tongue begged entry. He opened his mouth and deepened the kiss. He wrapped his arms around her delicate waist, one hand splayed wide on the small of her back.

Their tongues mingled together, Beth rough and wanting, Merle’s hesitant but growing more fierce by the second. It wasn’t a desperate kiss. It was more like a sigh, a relief. Beth wasn’t sure when she had known that she wanted this; she certainly hadn’t come up to the guard tower expecting this. _Okay, well maybe a little._ Expecting wasn’t the right word. She was _hopeful_ that this would happen.

Merle’s mind, on the other hand, was a racing frantic mess. He had a vague idea that he should stop this, stop it right now before it turned into something they’d both regret in the morning. So then why was his hand moving up her back, to caress the gentle curve of her spine?

Beth pulled herself up so that she was straddling the man in his chair. The back of her tiny tank top rode up, and she gasped when Merle’s cool hand met her hot skin. His grip tightened at the skin to skin contact, and the young girl pushed her body flush against his. She was an expert kisser, like really fucking good. And when she took Merle’s bottom lip between her teeth and tugged, he let out a strained moan.

“Fuck,” Merle growled and ground his hips up to meet hers. Beth moaned into his mouth, which only served to arouse the man more.

Her hands traveled down his chest. Merle twisted one hand in the girl’s shirt and pulled it up, exposing all of her torso. He moved his mouth to her neck, trailing kisses and panting little breaths from her jawline to the crease between her breasts. She threw her head back in ecstasy and then giggled _-fuckin’ giggled-_ as Merle’s lips tickled her light skin as they trailed back up to her neck. Merle looked down at the girl in his lap, this young, complex girl.

Beth refused to let her lips leave his for more than a few seconds, so Merle was quickly lost in her body once again. With a sudden burst of confidence, she pressed her chest toward him, invitingly. He didn’t miss a beat. She watched as he took the top of her tank top between his teeth and snapped it back. She settled back into his lap and grinned at how hard he was. _I did that._ Beth smiled internally.

Merle took heavy breaths as he pulled Beth’s shirt up and over her arms. He palmed her little breasts in his calloused hands, and she moaned in pleasure. He flicked his tongue out and licked one nipple, making it pucker even more than it already was. Beth squirmed in his lap and rubbed herself against his rock hard pants.

Her hands ran down his stomach again, and again he moaned in ecstasy. _Hmm. Gotta keep that in mind._ She rubbed the spot where their bodies met. He growled at her with her breast still in his mouth and thrusted his hips up. Beth was working on the button at the top of his jeans when there was a knock on the door.

They stared at each other for a second, and the doorknob started to turn. Beth scrambled off of his lap, and Merle threw her shirt to her from where he had tossed it earlier. She shut herself into the little supply closet just as Daryl stepped through the doorway.

“Whatcha want Darylina?” Merle said, putting his legs up on the desk in hopes of disguising his raging hard-on.

“My watch, least til we go on that run later. Brought ya some breakfast too.”

“Oh.” _It’s morning already?_ Daryl took a seat next to him and set his crossbow down.

 _Well what in the fuck am I gonna do now?_ Merle decided to just take the classic way out: lie. “Rick was here earlier, said he was lookin’ fer ya. Somethin’ ‘bout the fence on the east side?” Rick was always up before dawn, so it was a safe bet to lie about him.

Daryl gave Merle a side-long glance, thinking he was acting strangely helpful for the usual 7-in-the-morning-Merle. He watched his brother’s gaze flit around the room nervously. Something was going on, but Daryl decided to leave it be. For the time being.

“Alright. He say where he was goin’?”

“Nah, but prob’ly his fields.”

“‘Kay. I’ll be back.”

Merle nodded at him, and Daryl shut the door. Seconds later Beth came bursting out of the supply closet, sputtering and tearing cobwebs from her hair. Merle couldn’t help but laugh at the sight of her. She shoved him playfully and laughed, then got serious.

“Now, where were we?” she asked, trailing a finger down his chest.

Merle looked past her to the trays of food on the table. “Now I wouldn’t mind pickin’ up where we left off, but my brother’s gonna be back soon.”

Beth sighed. “Okay. Later?”

Merle scratched his head. “I don’t know, kid. I’m gonna be pretty busy with workin’ and…” He couldn’t even get the sentence out before he cracked a smile. “Maybe. Gonna have to see how the day goes.”

Beth smiled. “Okay.” She reached up and gave him a peck on the mouth, which turned into a bit more than that. Merle pulled away first and pushed her toward the door. It wouldn’t look too good to have her walking out of the tower, half clothed in pajamas while people were coming out to get dinner.

He watched her walk into the cell block. How her little body shimmied when she walked, how the light glinted off her sun-bleached hair. Why hadn’t he noticed these things before? _Maybe ‘cause ya hadn’t sucked her tits yet, big boy._ That stupid voice taunted him.

Before his brain could conjure up any more asshole comments, Daryl burst through the door.

“Rick said he didn’t know what the hell you was talkin’ ‘bout,” he said, looking at his brother accusingly.

Merle, lost in the recesses of his old and tortured mind, muttered something about “musta been a dream” and walked out, slamming the door behind him.

* * *

 

Beth’s mind was once again dominated by Merle Dixon. _What does this mean? We_ kissed. _It has to mean something. Why did he even kiss me in the first place? Was he feeling the same things as her? Wait-- did_ he _kiss_ me _, or did I_ _initiate it? Crap. I am never getting to sleep._

Beth sat up all morning, listening to the sounds of people milling around and getting ready for the day.She tried unsuccessfully to push the gruff, but strong-- _God was he strong_ \-- man from her mind. Finally exhaustion overtook her, and she fell asleep, grasping her pillow as if it were him.

Merle was an asshole. A useless, selfish, worthless asshole. By the time he reached his cell block, he had convinced himself of that, and much more. His tormented mind’s voice had made him a list. Asshole. Jerk. Motherfucking Pervert. The last one was bad. Red clouded Merle’s vision every time he thought it. Beth was a kid; she was maybe 18. But her age didn’t make a difference to the people here. She was the baby, of the adults at least.

And Merle Dixon had just ripped her shirt off and was about to do something so terrible and immensely wrong with this kid. He hated himself for how much he liked it, and even as he thought these terrible thoughts at himself, he couldn’t help but think about the next time he would see this girl.

Still. What happened tonight couldn’t happen again. It wouldn’t.


	4. The Need

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't wanna be the kind of person that warns for smut, but lets just say that things....heat up in this chapter. So be prepared!

Beth tried to find time alone with Merle all day. She would go out of her way to work next to him, eat near him, even "accidently" trip and brush up against him. She bounced from job to job, and everyone seemed to notice her light and happy manner. Beth had always been the sunshine of the group, but today she was exceptionally sunny.

Daryl watched his brother suspiciously. Merle went about his work, all business. But Daryl couldn't help but notice that when Beth was close to him, he tensed up or lied his way out of the area and made himself scarce. He suspected that it was because he still felt bad about hitting her, but then he rethought it and remembered that Merle didn't feel bad about anything, ever.

Merle had woken up same as every other day at first. Then he felt the tender scratches down his chest and the events of the past night came back to him. Fuckin' hell.

He spent the first half of the day avoiding Beth, although she was pretty hell bent on staying as close to him as she could. He skipped lunch in favor of helping Rick and Glenn clear out the rest of Cell Block A. He was headed to the bathrooms to get cleaned up when a small hand grabbed the back of his collar and tugged him into an empty cell.

"Hey you," Beth said quietly and wrapped her arms around his neck. She pulled his head down to meet her lips, and Merle almost didn't stop her. But coming to his senses, he pressed his hands to the young girl's shoulders firmly.

Beth looked up at him. "What gives? You've been avoiding me all day."

Merle looked past her and said, "Can't be doin' this anymore. Ain't right, bein' with a young girl like you."

Emotions flashed across Beth's face. Merle thought he caught anger and resentment, but mostly there was sadness.

"Oh," Beth said, taking a step back. Tears pooled in her eyes. "I see. I'm too young. Of course you'd want someone older."

"Now listen, that ain't it at all." Merle shifted his feet and tried to look at her. He couldn't deal with sad women, especially not this one. He didn't know if she was gonna cry or yell or run away.

There was something about his tone, the way he said it. Like he had already discussed the subject, and the decision was final. It made her mad. Anger flared in the blonde's eyes. "What then? I'm not good enough for you? Too weak, too caring? I don't kill 20 walkers a day or eat nails for breakfast so clearly I'm not gonna be able to handle the great Merle Dixon!" The tears had broken free by now and were forming steady lines down her cheeks.

Merle contained his anger. "No, yer takin' this the wrong way, girl."

Beth was yelling now. "Oh, you know what it must be? You must be afraid of what Rick and Maggie and my daddy'll think!"

"Keep your voice down!" Merle hissed at her. They were far from the cell block, but who knew who could be walking down this hallway to the bathroom.

She continued as though he hadn't even spoken. "Admit it! This has nothing to do with your so-called "morality" or any of that other bullshit! This is about you and your fear! Daryl told me the stories, how you abandoned him, left him with your father! And now this. This is about your inability to face anything that might not work out favorably for you!"

At that comment Merle's anger ignited, and his eyes locked on hers. Beth immediately knew she had pushed too far with that last remark. Merle got in her face, and she backed up to the wall. "You listen good, kid. I ain't 'fraid a nobody. I risked my fuckin' life t' kill that bastard Governor. I ain't got one fuck left t' give fer myself, too damn busy givin' 'em out to yer lot! So don't fuckin' tell me 'bout what's favorable! Now I'm old enough to be yer goddamn daddy. If I say it's 'cause it ain't right, that's my fuckin' reason. I don't need you analyzin' shit. I sure as hell don't need you botherin' me. Leave me be!"

Merle spun away from their spot pinned against the wall.

Beth sucked in a breath and looked at him. She didn't know what to do. Should she try to talk to him? She didn't see any way that she was going to be able to change his mind, so after a few seconds, she slipped out of the cell. Sobs racked her small frame, but she was able to keep them quiet until she got to the end of the hallway. She leaned on the wall and slid down it.

Merle picked up his clothes from where he had thrown them in his anger at Beth. He punched the metal wall and stomped out of the cell.

He let the cold water of the shower run down his body. He put his hands on the back wall of the shower and stayed like that for a while. He needed a drink. He needed a line. He needed to fucking hit something. He needed…

After his shower, he grabbed a gun and a rusty crowbar and stomped out to the fence. The walkers got riled up at the scent of living flesh, and they pressed hard into the fence. Merle stabbed one through the fence and yelled, "C'mon! That all ya disease-bearing fucks got?"

The walkers growled in response. Merle picked up the pace. Sweat pooled on his brow, and his muscles burned from exertion. He heard nothing but the roars of the undead and the pounding beat of his heart. The fence creaked and groaned under the walkers' weight. He wasn't sure how long he was out there, but eventually the snarls were all but gone. He backed up, his chest heaving. Looking around, Merle stood in awe. There must have been 30 walkers lying on the other side of the chain links.

Merle was dripping with sweat and blood. He wasn't sure how much of it was his and how much belonged to the dead. So much for that shower.

He could feel the group staring at him as he trudged back through the cell block. Not bothering to walk all the way to the bathroom again, he wiped his face and arms down with a wet rag and laid down. He didn't want to close his eyes, didn't want to think, but eventually sleep overtook him. He dreamt of her lips on his, and his rough hands caressing her smooth skin. But his dreams were plagued with the same scared and foreboding feeling that the group experienced every damn day.

Some time in the middle of the night, he tossed and turned. He finally decided that he may as well get up and get some air, because he knew he wasn't getting back to sleep. He walked the deserted halls, not sure where he was going.

On the other side of the prison, Beth had a similar idea. She trailed her hand down the walls beside her and walked with no certain destination. She had spent most of the evening alone, knowing she wasn't much company. She hadn't given up on Merle, but Beth had enough sense to know she should let him calm down before she tried to talk to him again.

They both walked for a long time, unknowingly getting closer and closer to each other.

Merle turned a corner and saw Beth walking not ten feet in front of him. He stood paralyzed and silent. She hadn't noticed him there, and he planned on walking away when he felt a sudden burning in his chest.

Earlier that evening, he couldn't figure out how to end that last 'I need.' In this moment he realized what he really needed.

Her.

Beth heard footsteps behind her, walking, then running. She spun and barely had time to utter a sound before Merle's mouth crashed into hers. She was taken aback and at first she didn't move, unsure why Merle was here at all, let alone kissing her like a man possessed.

Merle was fueled by an intense need to kiss her, feel her, just know that she was there in front of him and this feeling he was having was real. He pushed her against the wall, and their bodies pressed together.

Something in Beth switched on when their bodies touched. She flung her arms around his neck and kissed him back. He growled into her mouth and ran his hand through her long blonde hair, knotting it in a fist at the nape of her neck.

Beth pulled back slightly and found his eyes in the dark. "What are you doing?" she asked.

"I'm sorry, sugar. Ya were right, 'bout everything. I am afraid, damn near terrified 'bout what yer sister or yer daddy would do if they knew the things I wanna do t' ya. But I don't care. I need you." His voice was low and shaky.

Beth shivered; Whether it was from the cold metal of the wall or the thought of what this man could do to her, she wasn't quite sure. Merle's mouth took possession of hers once again, and she could think of nothing, save his tongue and his strong arms around her and his husky voice saying, "I need you." She opened her mouth and he did the same, their soft moans mingling together.

Merle handled her small frame none too gently. He clutched at her shirt and her hair, working his way to her behind. His nails dug into her thighs and gave her ass a firm squeeze. She squealed and moved her hips against his. Merle groaned deep in his throat, and Beth flung her legs up around his waist, held steady by the wall behind her. Her hands caressed his rough skin, his cheeks, his shoulders, his hands. Merle's lips travelled up and down her jaw, stopping to nip at her ear.

"You don't know how much I want you right now," he whispered breathlessly. His hot breath on her neck made her shiver again, and this time it had nothing to do with the cold wall. Merle ripped her tank top from her chest, and the sound of tearing fabric echoed through the dark halls. He attacked her chest, biting and pulling on her hard nipples. She moaned lightly, and her hands found the hem of his shirt, and she pulled it off.

She watched him turn her legs to jelly. When he put her whole breast in his mouth, she raked her nails down his back. Immediately Merle growled and his grip on her hips dug into her body. His mouth crashed into hers again, and Beth pushed back with a new found fierceness.

One hand travelled down her body, and she rubbed his package through too many layers of clothes. Merle's breath caught when Beth's little hand squeezed him and rubbed her hips up to meet his.

Merle knew they weren't stopping any time soon. His brain was clouded with want, but he had enough of his wits to pull back momentarily and utter, "C'mon." He led her to one of the cleaner empty cells on this side of the prison. She trailed after him, one hand on his waist, inching closer to the front of his jeans. He flung her around him and threw her on the little mattress. She laughed and got up on her knees before he could lay down. Her hands ran down the big man's thighs.

She teased him, running her fingers over his jeans lightly. His breath was labored as she undid his pants and pulled the zipper down achingly slow.

"Fuck, kid," Merle groaned when she finally freed him of the confines of his jeans and boxers.

I can't fit that in my mouth was Beth's first thought. She had seen blowjobs given before, in the late hours of the night with her laptop, hidden beneath the blankets of her little bed. But she had never given one, and she thought for sure that this would not fit.

Merle saw the look on her face and took a second to pride himself in his impressive manhood. He was about to say something to Beth, but all trains of thought were lost when the girl reached up and boldly grabbed his erection. Her tongue traced a long line up the length of it, and he shuddered in pleasure. She trailed wet kisses up it, stopping to lick at the precum leaking from the tip. She moved to his balls, sucking one into her mouth, then the other.

She didn't have the slightest idea what she was doing, but the moans coming from the man above her told her she wasn't doing a bad job.

It felt so good that Merle thought he was gonna unload right then and there. But he wanted this to last, so he grabbed the little one's hair and led her mouth back to the top of his member. He pulled her toward him gently, a suggestion.

She complied with just a small look of apprehension. Here goes nothin'. She took the throbbing penis into her mouth. She started slow, just moving her mouth up and down. The hand in her hair tightened when her tongue circled the tip. She took that as a good sign and sped up. Her head bobbed up and down, eliciting strained moans from Merle.

Her wet mouth felt like heaven on him and Merle couldn't help but buck his hips as she thrust him into her mouth over and over again. She gagged and spit and gagged again, but she kept at it. The feeling of his cock hitting the back of her throat was foreign, but not all bad. Not to say it was the most pleasant thing she'd ever done, but Merle's quickened breath and moaning made her squirm with pleasure.

When he thought he couldn't take anymore, Merle pulled her off by her hair and gave her a sloppy kiss. Her nudged her back and she laid down, Merle hovering over her. He supported his weight on his arms, which sat on either side of Beth's flushed face. His cock, which was still hanging out of his jeans, hit her abdomen every time they moved. Merle's mouth moved up and down, his tongue traced lines on her body, punctuated by wet kisses. He was torn between just getting down to it and savoring the moment.

Beth was going between extremely confident and painfully shy tonight. That might have had something to do with the man sucking on her abdomen though. Right now she was feeling pretty confident, so she took control. She pushed him down to her center and all but threw her pants across the room.

One layer of thin fabric set between Merle and what promised to be one of the greatest nights of his life. He pressed his tongue to her underwear and licked a long, slow line all the way to her belly button.

He heard a gasp and a moan come from her, and he did it again, this time dragging his teeth along the skin as well.

"Oh God," she moaned and pushed her hips into his scruffy chin. He felt her through her panties; she was warm and so wet. Finally he ripped them off, probably destroying the delicate fabric. But Beth couldn't find it in her distracted mind to care. Tonight was a night to rip clothes off.

Merle buried his face in her warm center, and Beth arched her back as his tongue touched her clitorus. She was astounded by the feeling, so many sensations assaulted her mind at once. She was reduced to a mess of shaking and moaning, and Merle's erection pushed painfully into the mattress.

She tasted like heaven, her sweet juices covering his mouth. He sped up and Beth's moans turned to squeals. Her hands cupped her breasts, and her hips bucked into the aroused man's mouth. He slowed down, and she whimpered at him.

"Hold on, darlin', I ain't done," Merle said, laughing lightly. He watched her eyes as he slid one finger into her wet sex. Her eyes went wide, and a loud moan ripped from her throat. Nothing had ever felt this good. Merle's hand moved faster, and Beth's body moved against him, willing him to go deeper and harder into her.

He added another finger and pounded into her warm center. Her hips bucked again, and her nails dug into his shoulders.

"Oh God don't stop!" Beth yelled as she climaxed around his fingers, her womanhood shuddering and covering his mouth with her warmth. Merle slid his fingers out of her slowly and watched her writhe under him for a moment before drawing up face to face with her. He kissed her again, and Beth tasted herself on him. She wrinkled her nose, and Merle pulled back, confused.

"What-"

"Nothin'." Beth laughed and pulled his face back down to her.

When their lips touched again, she could feel the need in the way his tongue assaulted hers, but this kiss was more like their first. He was hesitant, apprehensive again. They pulled away at the same second, their words rolling over one another's.

"Ya sure-"

"It's okay-"

They both went quiet, waiting for the other to talk first. After a second, Beth laughed, and Merle responded by cradling her head and laughing into her light hair. They dissolved into laughter, shaking the rickety bed. She was one of the only chicks in the history of his life that could make him laugh like this. And she was so much more than a chick.

He looked back into her eyes and saw, something, in them. Worry, maybe? He looked down at her and said, "Hey sugar, we don't have t'."

Beth's face grew warm as she realized she had no idea how she was going to say what she was about to. "No it's not that." She smiled sheepishly. "It's just, I've never…" She sighed and the words tumbled out. "I've never done it before and I just wanna be good and I want you to like it and not feel like you have to do it just because I'm here and I want it and I just-" Beth stopped, taking a deep breath and holding it. She stared up at Merle with a look of embarrassment and worry.

The older man was never good with words, and he sure as hell had no idea what to say to that. So, starting with her jaw, he traced the lines of her face with one hand. She closed her eyes and leaned into his touch. When he was sure he had memorized every feature, his hand moved down to her collarbone, his gaze never leaving her closed eyes. He traced her chest, from the tip of her shoulders to her slender hips, taking in all of her curves and edges. His light breath floated across her skin, and she was comforted by it.

She watched him moved up and down her body and thought that he had never looked so vulnerable as he did right now. He had told her about the girls he was with before the end, and she knew none of those girls had meant anything to him. She still wasn't sure what she meant to him, but his calloused fingers tracing lazy circles down her sides gave her confidence. He was giving himself to her, just as much as she was about to give herself to him.

When his hands moved to her womanhood again and touched her lightly, she arched her back and moaned quietly. He leaned over her, pulling her legs up with him.

They locked eyes, and Merle's big hand stroked the side of her beautiful face.

"Ya ready, angel?"

Beth couldn't seem to find any words, so she just nodded and brought herself up to meet his lips. She clung to his neck as he pushed into her slowly, carefully. When he met resistance inside her, he almost stopped, but he stared into her eyes and pushed all the way in.

She whimpered lightly at the sharp momentary pain, and Merle halted. Her eyes were clenched shut, but she nodded and he moved inside her.

He pulled himself out slowly, then thrust back in. She was so tight around his bursting cock, and he couldn't help himself as he bucked his hips into her. A strangled gasp left Beth's throat, and she thrust herself onto him, her nails digging into his back. Merle settled into a rhythm, in and out slowly. Beth sighed and whispered moans into his ear.

"Fuck, Merle, yes.." Beth blushed slightly as the words escaped her mouth of their own accord. She moved her hips against his in the same rhythm, then faster and faster. Merle matched her pace and soon they were both moaning into each other's mouths. Beth attacked his mouth with intense desire, and something deep inside Merle clawed it's way out.

He gave no regard to the fact that this was a fragile, youth girl underneath him. With one hand in her hair and his metal one on her back, he flipped her over beneath him. He grabbed her hips and pounded into her, taken over by the feral need inside of him. He growled out his exclamations of ecstasy. His teeth and nails dug into Beth's skin.

She couldn't think, couldn't speak, could hardly breathe. She was confused by the sudden change in his demeanor, but that didn't mean she wasn't okay with it. Her moans turned to squeals as he hit that one spot inside of her with his rock hard member. She held his hand in her hair and pushed her hips back into his.

His hand reached around and worked her clit, and Beth saw stars. Her voice grew louder, and Merle's hand clasped her mouth shut, his subtle violence serving to arouse her more.

"Oh my God, Merle!" she screamed into his hand, and her walls clenched around Merle's dick.

He let her ride out her orgasm with much restraint. He pulled out slowly, and Beth's gasp pleased him. Now that he wasn't inside her, the urge to blow his load wasn't as strong, and his head was less crowded with feral instinct. But when Beth saw his tall erection and grabbed it in both hands, his head flew back and a moan escaped his lips.

She was on the ground in front of the bed before he even had time to think. She set her small mouth over the tip of it and pushed down, enveloping the appendage, which had obviously grown larger. She had only moved up and down twice, when she heard Merle whispered, "Holy, shit, fuck…"

She stopped and let her tongue run up the length of his cock, then took it all into her mouth and pushed herself to his pelvis.

"Beth!" he yelled as white, hot strings of cum shot into her mouth. She was surprised at the taste, not sweet, but not bad either. Thinking that was it, she moved her mouth from around his cock, only to be pulled back as another round of cum flew from his dick.

She swallowed it all, just like all of her friends had told her to do, back when they would stay up late and whisper about sexual stuff, before the world ended. Merle pulled away from her, only to yank her up to him by the arms. He planted a long kiss on her mouth, and his one good hand was soft on her shaking body.

He pulled back and asked, "How 'bout that fer a first time?"

Beth feigned a nonchalant tone. "Oh yanno, nothin' remarkable…" she teased breathlessly. He looked hurt momentarily, and she captured his mouth in a kiss. "I'm only kiddin', silly."

Merle smiled lightly and looked at the girl for a minute longer. "Well," he said, averting his eyes from her gaze, "reckon you outta be gettin' back to bed now."

"Oh. Yeah, I guess I should." Beth looked around the room. She didn't have the slightest idea where her clothes were, and she wasn't ready to leave Merle's warmth. When she didn't move, Merle looked at her quizzically.

"Can we cuddle?" She asked, not looking at him.

Merle had never cuddled before, unless you count that one time that he and Daryl had slept close together because the heat in their house had been shut off for the tenth time one winter. But that was sleeping close, not cuddling. Only pansies "cuddled."

So why was he pulling her into the little bed and fitting her body to his? His arm snaked around her stomach, and her head leaned on his shoulder. Beth reached behind her and picked up the first pieces of clothing she could find: Merle's pants and her shirt. She draped them over their bodies haphazardly and settled back against Merle's strong chest. She was asleep in minutes, with Merle tracing lines on her shoulder.

As much as he wanted to fall asleep, he knew he shouldn't. He didn't have the slightest idea where they were, and he knew he would need to get Beth up before too long. Wouldn't do either of them any good to be walking back into the cell block at the crack of dawn, with everybody else getting up.

After an hour or two, Merle shook Beth awake. She yawned and curled into his chest. He chuckled and pulled her up into a sitting position with him.

"Gotta get up, sweetheart," he grunted, finding his boxers in the almost-black room. The tombs got no light from the outside; it sometimes reminded of his time in prison, before the turn.

She groaned in protest and felt around blindly for her pants. Once they were dressed, they emerged from the cell, and Beth asked, "So you know where we are?"

"Got no idea, sugar," Merle replied and laughed. He turned on the flashlight that was stuck in his pants, and they slowly followed the signs back to the main block.

Neither of them knew what to think exactly. They knew they didn't want to leave each other's company, but they were smart enough to know that being seen together would do nothing but harm. They reached the cell block before first light, and Merle stopped short.

Daryl was coming down from the perch, looking directly at Merle. He hadn't seen Beth yet, so Merle pushed her into the last empty cell, and she cried out in confusion. Merle coughed to cover up the sound and leaned nonchalantly on the door frame.

"What's up lil brother?"

Daryl looked at him with the same suspicious look as he did in the guard tower. "Gonna go out and help Rick fix up the fence on the east side. Could use yer help."

"A'right. Lemme get my gun, and I'll be out."

Daryl eyed him for a minute longer, and annoyance showed on Merle's face. "What?"

"Nothin'. Ten minutes."

Merle nodded. Daryl walked away with one last look at the hallway behind his brother. The fuck is up with him?

Merle turned around and leaned into the cell Beth was hidden in. She looked at him with wide eyes, then smiled. He took her into a long hug and kissed the top of her head.

"Alright. Go on. Take care of yer kids or make breakfast, whatever it is you women do 'round here." Merle playfully dodged her half-hearted punch and watched her walk to the cell block. He covered his mouth to stifle the laugh that bubbled up inside him when he saw the faint teeth marks underneath her old t-shirt.

He grabbed her again right before she got to the cell block and pointed to a particularly bruised part of her skin. "Might wanna cover that up."

She gasped and whacked him. "Asshole!"

He winked at her as she hurried into her cell, and he climbed the stairs to his.


	5. Bring Me To Life

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dearest Readers, I love this chapter, and I had a lot of fun writing it. :)

"I think your brother's on to us." Beth was laying in Merle's bed, while Merle dressed in old pants and his leather vest. It was early, an hour or two before sunrise, and Beth knew she would have to back to her room soon. They had been sneaking around for a few weeks now. After that first night in the tombs, she knew that nothing could stop this attraction.

Merle leaned on the bed frame and crossed his arms. "My brother don't care enough about what everybody else does, so long as it don't bother him." He sat down next to her, and she propped herself up on her elbows. "And even if he did know somethin', ain't nothin' gon' make me stop doin' this." Merle leaned down and captured her mouth in a fierce kiss. Her hands cupped his face, but Merle was the first to pull away. "Ya better get back t' yer room."

He was always the one to remind her to leave. If it was up to her, she would stay in his bed all day and forget the whole world. But that wouldn't be the best thing to do right now. She got up reluctantly and dressed. She gave him one last long kiss before padding quietly to her room.

Merle laid back down and took a drink of water. He thought about what the girl had said. Was his brother suspicious? Beth was okay with Merle's request to keep them a secret, but they both knew that wouldn't last forever. Maybe it wouldn't be so bad if his brother knew about them. It's not like his brother would go running his mouth.

Merle would have to watch him. There wasn't much else he could do, short of asking him outright.

The days went on, and Merle and Beth kept their public interaction to a minimum. When they did talk, Merle would sneak glances at Daryl and almost always find him watching them. Merle tried to be subtle, but he usually just left the room awkwardly.

"He knows," Merle declared one night the next week.

"Did he say something?" Beth sat up, alarmed. They were in the library, hidden behind shelves of science textbooks.

"Nah," Merle scratched his head. "But he gives me this look every time the two of us are together. But I mean, I was thinkin'. Maybe it ain't so bad if he knows. People are gonna find out sooner or later. Daryl might whoop my ass for it at first, but he'll get over it."

"Well I don't want anybody whoopin' your ass." Beth puffed her little chest out protectively.

Merle laughed and leaned back on the shelves. "My little protector. I'll be fine. Been dealin' with my brother since 'fore you was born."

Beth was reminded again about their age difference. She never put a second thought into it initially; she decided that it didn't matter. If they were going to be together, a stupid thing like age wouldn't stop them.

Merle was still wary about the whole situation. But that didn't stop him from spending every night with her, sometimes just talking, sometimes more...

* * *

  
The next day Merle and Daryl sat in the armory cleaning their guns. The brothers were terrible with words, a skill that Merle found he needed more than ever these days. He was about to suck it up and just say something when Daryl cleared his throat and asked, "What ya doin' with Beth?"

Merle looked up at him and was so astonished that he feigned ignorance at first. "What ya mean, brother?"

"Ya know what I mean. You two's always talkin', then ya tuck tail and run soon as anybody walks by."

Merle holstered his gun. He was so surprised that Daryl had initiated the conversation that he had lost all confidence to actually tell him. So his guard was automatically up. "I hit her in the goddamn face, 'nd her family hates me. I's just tryin' t' be nice, and shit. Why the hell would I be messin' around with her?"

"Didn't say nothin' 'bout messin' around," Daryl replied, giving him a dubious look.

"Well I knew damn well what you was thinkin'," Merle shot back.

"So there ain't nothin' goin' on? Nothin' at all?" Daryl looked at him with something - worry? - in his expression.

Merle sighed. He knew he should lie, make up some more bullshit excuses. He should just say no and leave it at that. Fuck. "S'that damn obvious?"

Daryl looked up at him sharply, "Ya kiddin' me? What the hell are ya thinkin'? She's a kid, for Christ's sake. And she's Hershel's daughter! Yer literally fuckin' the preacher's daughter." Daryl wasn't sure what he was expecting when he decided to ask Merle about this, but he sure as hell wasn't expecting an honest answer.

Daryl's anger didn't surprise him. "Ya think I don't know that? I'm well-fuckin'-aware. But I don't see her goin' around here actin' like some little kid. Way I see it, she's gonna be makin' her own decisions."

"And ya think those are good decisions? Oh right, any decision is good, as long as Merle gets laid!" Daryl fumed in his seat.

"Hey now, that ain't true." Merle shot him an annoyed glare.

Beth knew that Merle was going to have this talk with Daryl today, so she followed them, just in case things got out of hand. She heard them yelling and decided to step in.

"He's right," she said, stepping into the doorway. "I'm not a kid. And it's not like he's forcin' me to be with him. I can make my own decisions."

Daryl scoffed, but there was less anger in his voice when he said, "Good luck tellin' yer daddy that. He sure as hell don't want his little girl with an old bastard like Merle. Wouldn't even entertain the thought of-" He stopped short. "I ain't gonna tell him. But if you two think this ain't gonna get around, ya got another thing comin'." He picked up his shotgun and stomped out.

"Well. That went well," Beth said, after they had watched Daryl's retreating form disappear down the hallway.

Merle shifted in his chair. "Don't know what his problem is. Never bothered him 'bout any a my relationships 'fore."

Beth leaned on Merle's back and rested her chin on his shoulder. Her arms fell loosely around his neck. "Everything's different now. Maybe he's worried about you. Maybe he cares."

Merle scoffed, but the idea stuck in his head.

* * *

 

Beth thought about the encounter for the rest of the day. She used to be so close to Daryl, until everything with the Governor happened. After that Daryl withdrew back into himself. Even after he had found his brother, he wasn't as animated as he used to be; granted, he wasn't very animated to begin with. He needed something in his life to lighten the burden he carried around on his shoulders all the time.

It was an uneventful week, at least on the outside. Questions bounced around in Merle and Beth's minds, some voiced, others not. One thing bothered Beth about Merle's wanting to keep them a secret, and in the passing hours of a night of passionate sex, she asked him.

"So are we like, a couple now? Or just friends who screw around?" Merle looked up from her body next to his to her face. "I mean, not that you have to label it or anything, I was just wondering. If we were or not." She tripped over her words, seeing the confused look on Merle's face.

Merle thought about it for a second. "I don't know, kid. I ain't had a relationship with anyone for a long while."

"Oh. Yeah I get that. Okay." Beth looked away from him.

He grabbed her chin and pulled her eyes back to his. "But that don't mean I don't want to be. Just gotta figure some shit out. But you know I don't wanna be with anyone else, don't ya?"

Beth smiled. "Yeah." They kissed and fell into a sound sleep.

Daryl laid in bed, lost in his own mind. He was conflicted. Merle hadn't been around to see he Beth he used to know. But still, she hadn't changed that much. Maybe he had.

He didn't want to say that he had started to develop feelings for the girl, but he had liked her. He never met anyone like her, and it was good to have some sunlight in the constant dark. But he would never act on those feelings, not then and not now.

* * *

 

Carol could see something was off with Daryl. She didn't know what was wrong, but she hated to see him sad. She decided to talk to him. After all, she was one of only people Daryl used to open up to. She and Beth; they got under his skin, made him spill his guts before he even knew he said anything. So later that night, Carol sat down next to Daryl at one of the tables.

"Hey," she said.

Daryl grunted a hello and shoved another spoonful of soup into his mouth.

"How was your day?" Carol prodded. She wasn't one for small talk; she would much rather just get down to business, but since she didn't even know what was wrong, she tried to sound casual.

"Fine," he murmured, avoiding eye contact.

"That's nice," Carol said. She started to talk about her day, and Daryl tuned her out.

"...And then I rode a camel to California and met God. Daryl, are you even listening?"

"Hmm? Yeah, sure," Daryl said without looking up from his soup.

"Yeah, and I'm the president," Carol said sarcastically. She sighed. "What's the matter with you? Your brother's back, we're safe for now, and all you can do is brood."

Daryl's eyes snapped to hers, and he got in her face. "Ya wanna know why I'm brooding all the time? Because the world fuckin' ended. The Governor about took this damn place down. And my asshole of a brother's been here three months and already got a girl. And it had to be Beth too, 'course it fuckin' did." Daryl sat down again and stared at the wall across the room.

Carol knew about Daryl's feelings toward Beth. He had never told her outright, but she could see it in him. She hadn't known about Merle and Beth explicitly either, but she had her suspicions. There was a discussion she would have with Beth another day. It didn't look like Daryl had even noticed the secret he just let slip anyway.

"Well I don't know how to help you with that, but we are safe and we are surviving. You just have to focus on that." Carol put a hand on his shoulder.

"Yeah," was all Daryl replied.

Beth slid from the shadowy hallway and into the cell block. She heard the whole conversation, and an idea formed in her head.

She denied her feelings for Daryl when she was younger. There was always another woman that she was sure Daryl would form a relationship with. Carol, Michonne. Or there was the fact that she was young and inexperienced and helpless back then. So she bottled the crush up and threw it out to sea. Hearing Daryl say that he wanted her now opened up a whole new door. It stirred feelings inside her that she hoped this plan would sort out.

Her plan was, different, to say the least. She wasn't sure how it would work, or if it could even work at all. She needed to talk to Merle.

She found him outside on guard duty.

"So I have this idea," she said, smiling sweetly.

"Oh, brother," Merle eyed her with caution.

Beth laughed. "Actually it does have to do with your brother!" She told him her plan.

"Hell no!" Merle cried when she entertained the idea.

"C'mon. You told me stories, about the few times you and your brother, ya know… with girls. This isn't any different!"

"The hell it ain't! This is you, not some drunk bitch we met at the bar." Merle looked at her incredulously. Yeah, he and Daryl had a few "parties" with girls and some things happened, and sometimes it happened to be in the same room. But they were always drunk off their asses or running on some good drugs. And it was never with the same girl.

"Exactly, so it'll mean even more. I heard that conversation. He's lonely, and now that we're whatever we are, it's even worse for him. I like you both. What's so wrong with that?" Beh urged. She almost pulled out the L-word but stopped short. She didn't even know what love was, let alone whether she felt it for this man. So she kept it at that and watched Merle think.

"I don't know, angel. I ain't never been good with sharin'."

"Don't think of it as sharing. Think of it as… borrowing. But you both get to play." Beth smiled sneakily. "And it's not gonna be forever. Just one night, to bring him back." She wrapped her arms around his neck. "And it'll be fun." She teased him with the ghost of a kiss, but pulled back as he moved to deepen it.

"So whatcha say?"

Merle sighed. Maybe this was what his brother needed.

* * *

 

Beth found Daryl walking the perimeter late the next night.

"Hi," she said quietly, matching his leisurely strides.

Daryl grunted. She had discovered long ago that Daryl never actually formally greeted anyone.

She got right down to it. "I overheard your conversation with Carol."

"Figured." Daryl said without looking up from his feet.

Beth was not expecting that. "Wha-"

"Ya got a knack for eavsdroppin', girl." Daryl cut her off.

Beth thought to protest but realized that was probably true.

"Well, I can help you with your problem, ya know. C'mon." She took his hand carefully and led him to the guard tower.

"Hey, what're-"

She shushed him. "Just wait."

Who's on watch tonight? Daryl's mind raced as he thought. He looked at the empty tower nervously. Suddenly Beth's lips were on his, and he reeled back from her.

"What the hell?!"

Beth stepped to him, and he regarded her warily. "I know you're lonely, and I know you like me. I like you, too." Her body pressed against his, and his grip on her arms loosened just a fraction. Her lips met his again, and this time he didn't pull away.

"What about Merle?" Daryl mumbled into her mouth.

"What about me, little brother?" Merle was leaning against the door.

Daryl shot away from Beth at the sound of Merle's voice.

Merle laughed. "Ya don't gotta stop that."

Daryl stared at him, and then Beth, then back at Merle again in confusion. This whole conversation was making his head hurt.

"Don't look at me. It was her idea." Merle pointed at Beth.

"It's like I said. You're alone, and I talked to your brother. He wants you to be happy too. You need something to bring you back to life." She smiled and ran her hands down his scruffy cheeks.

She kissed him again, and she felt a shift in his body. He didn't kiss her back at first, and she was soft, inviting. Finally his lips moved ever so slightly. His hands rested on her hips. She cupped his face with one hand and motioned to Merle with the other.

Merle draped himself along Beth's back, and his hand on her body ignited a blaze. Daryl sucked in a breath as Beth opened her mouth wide, and then their tongues were intertwined. He had waited so long for this moment, and having resolved himself to never getting it made this ten times better.

Daryl was gentle, hesitant, as if he was worried that she would run away at any second. What is it with these boys and hesitance? Damn. Beth almost laughed out loud, but it was turned into a gasp when Merle's lips teased the tender spot behind her ear.

Daryl stiffened when he felt his hands, which were firmly gripping Beth's sides, brush against Merle's shirt. Beth's hands on him brought him back, and he moaned quietly when she knotted them in his long hair and pulled.

The younger man trailed his hands up her torso, taking her light shirt with him. Her chest was warm on his body, and he relaxed further into her; their bodies fit together. She tossed her shirt aside and pulled Daryl's jacket off. Merle removed his plaid shirt and continued sucking on Beth's neck. Daryl's ratty sleeveless shirt was next to hit the floor. Beth leaned back against Merle's chiseled chest and slung her arms up around his neck. Merle's mouth found hers.

With some urging, Daryl began to leave wet kisses from Beth's neck to the little curve between her breasts. His hands ghosted down her body, barely touching her.

Merle's hand clutched at her side, and he ground his erection into her behind. Beth pushed her hips back, and her chest was thrust into Daryl's face. He needed no more invitation than that. His hands snaked around her back, and he was hyper aware of Merle's body touching the back of his hands. This was different than the other times he and Merle had been with girls. But this was his brother, and they were closer than anyone could get in this world anymore.

He didn't have a chance to think about it anymore because at that second his fingers found the clasp, and Beth's purple bra came free. Daryl wasted no time as he trailed his tongue back up to her jaw and captured her mouth.

Merle's hand dug into her abdomen, and his nails scraped tracks up her stomach to her perky breasts. The blade from his mechanical hand had been removed, but the cold metal hung at his side. Beth didn't mind; he could do more with one hand than any other man could do with two. She moaned and squirmed between them. She threw her bra into the pile of clothes, leaving her hands out in front of her to explore the landscape of Daryl's chest. He was in even better shape than Merle, although Merle's arm muscles flexed with every movement he made.

And the movements he was making right now were making Beth crazy. He had his hand on her breast, and his other arm was snaked around to push her hips back into his. He squeezed her breast, and Beth giggled quietly before moaning as Daryl took the other into his mouth.

His tongue teased her erect nipple, and his hands caressed her skin. He ran his teeth over the light skin, biting down hard enough to leave a mark but not enough to hurt. Beth's head flew back in ecstasy.

Merle spun her around forcefully, and she grabbed the front of his pants. Their mouths intertwined with sudden passion. She unclasped his belt and let his erection out in record time. Her butt ground into Daryl's hard-on, and he pushed back with the same force. He moved to undo his own pants, but Beth's hands on him stopped him. She reached behind her and pulled his zipper down slowly, savoring the want in his eyes. He member finally popped free of his jeans, and she trailed her hands down the two men and slid to her knees.

Taking both of the men into her hands, she stroked them slowly. Daryl looked down at the little girl below him. He'd lost count of how many times he'd dreamed about this. He was about to fuck Beth. This small, perky, adorable, smart, strong girl. She was probably the only person he could ever see himself loving. Wait- did he just say loving? Shit. No, he couldn't think like that. This was a one time thing.

Beth put Merle's erection into her mouth first, enveloping most of it in one try. He groaned, and his hand tangled in her hair. Her hand moved faster on Daryl's throbbing cock, and he couldn't help a small moan from escaping through his lips. It came out as a sigh, "Oh..fuck."

Beth turned to him and glanced into his eyes, before licking his impressive length and fondling his balls. A real moan ripped from his throat when Beth's warm mouth closed around him. He shut his eyes and grabbed her by the hair, less forceful than Merle. He knew he wasn't going to last long. Beth pulled off of him with a pop and grabbed both their hands.

She led them around to the other side of the guard tower, where someone had set up a blanket with a few pillows. The men took off their jeans, and Beth looked at them, suddenly shy. The two brothers glanced at each other for a brief second, then Merle nodded. All at once, they were on the makeshift bed, squashed under their weight. They had tackled her. She laughed at the boys and brought Daryl's lips down her hers. She was starting to see that sex brought out the playful side of Daryl, just as she had hoped. He bit her lip suddenly, and wetness squished in her underwear. Merle's hand was at the top of her pants, pushing beneath her jeans. She gasped and pressed her chest into Daryl's. His hands palmed her breasts.

Merle pulled her shorts and panties to her ankles in one swoop, and his arms pushed her legs farther apart. His rough fingers caressed her wetness, and one slid in of it's own accord. Merle grunted, his erection pressed hard into Beth's back. Beth's hands gripped both men's cocks, and she stroked them to the pace of Merle's hand on her. Her moans were swallowed by Daryl's kiss.

Merle pulled a condom from the pocket of his discarded jeans. Rolling one on himself and throwing one to Daryl, he flipped Beth over onto her back and slid inside her. She gasped and rolled her hips. They settled into a now familiar rhythm, and Daryl draped Beth's back with his body. She moaned into Merle's neck, and she knew she was close. Merle sped up and her moans turned to screams as she climaxed. Merle pulled out of her with a grunt, and Beth rolled so she was laying on top of Daryl.

Beth's warm hips pushed against his cock, and Daryl couldn't help the groan of ecstasy that came from deep in his throat. Beth stared down at the younger brother, whose face was contorted by need. There was a hunger in his eyes, but it wasn't the feral need that shone in Merle's eyes. Merle knew what he wanted, and he knew Beth wanted him. There were so many emotions on Daryl's face: worry, confusion, apprehension. But present also was that light Beth hadn't seen in him in months. She smiled down at him triumphantly, and his mouth broke into a wide, genuine smile in response.

She wanted both of these men more than she could remember wanting anything in her life. She slid her wetness up the length of Daryl's rock hard erection. He moaned and bucked his hips. Her body pressed down on him as she settled down onto him. Her warmth clenched around him, and a strangled moan escaped his lips. Beth kissed him affectionately.

Nothing had ever felt as good as this. Daryl's mind was a blur of moans and sensations and Beth. He grabbed her hips and pounded up into her. She kissed his mouth, his ear, his neck. Everything she felt was his body, everything she saw when she opened her eyes was his eyes. She bit down on his neck suddenly, and Daryl exclaimed loudly.

Merle watched Beth ride his brother for just a moment before positioning himself behind her. His hand teased her butt. They had done it once or twice before, and while Beth was sore for a day or two, that was nothing compared to the ecstasy it provided. When she felt Merle's rough finger begging entry, she spread her legs wider and placed Daryl's hands on her ass cheeks.

She moaned as Daryl's fingers pushed into her. Her little hands clutched at Daryl's on her ass. She rocked her hips against Daryl's faster and faster, and Daryl pounded her harder.

Merle added another finger, and Beth stifled a scream into Daryl's chest as she came on his hard member again. She slowed her movements, her body racked with the aftershock of her orgasm. Daryl pulled out of her, and Merle did likewise. Beth flipped around, taking Daryl's bulging dick into her mouth.

She found Merle's dick and went between the two men, leaving sloppy kisses up and down their lengths. She felt Daryl's tongue flick out and lick her hot center, and the moan that came from her throat vibrated her whole body.

Watching another man do that to his little woman struck that jealous monster inside of Merle. He was okay with this, he told Beth he was. In a flash, he grabbed Beth's hair and pulled her up to him. Instinctively she reached for his face, but he manhandled the two of them into a standing position. He pulled her away from the bed, and Daryl leaned up on his elbows to look after them, still in a haze of lust. Merle turned his back on him and held Beth's arm.

"I can't do this, angel. I ain't sharin' you," Merle growled low.

Beth looked at him, worried. "But you said before… What changed? He's your brother, Merle. And did you see him smile? He's coming back." Her nails ran up and down his body. He gasped quietly, and Beth captured his lips. "C'mon," she murmured against them.

They walked back to Daryl, who watching them warily. Merle still wasn't totally sure, but Beth's mouth on his and her warmth against his penis didn't allow room to think about it anymore. Beth held his hand as she lowered herself back onto Daryl's chiseled body. He slid into her gently.

Behind her, Merle pushed himself into her tight back entrance. Beth laid down on top of Daryl, their bodies flush together. He breath came short in Daryl's ear as Merle worked himself into her. Daryl caressed her neck and back with his hands, each touch punctuated by a kiss. She whined at the slow pain creeping up on her, but Daryl's mouth soon covered hers.

When they kissed, it was different than any other man she had ever kissed. Even Merle's kiss was different than this. With Merle, there was fire and need and passion, a heat that spread through her body, instantly igniting her deepest desire. But when Daryl kissed her, she felt a slow buzz start in her head and work its way through the rest of her being, like the feeling you get when you take the first sip of hot chocolate. Beth wasn't sure that either one was better, but the sensations together made her vision blur with euphoria.

Daryl pushed into her with a steady rhythm, while Merle kneeled behind her, fully sheathed in her tight heat. He grunted deeply at the minimal friction; he wasn't gonna last long if this kept up. He pulled out a little, then pushed back in hard. Beth squealed at the mix of pleasure and pain. She clutched at Daryl's body, and his mouth assaulted hers. Her hands tangled in his long hair and pulled hard.

"Oh, fuck," Daryl groaned.

Merle looked down at the pure bliss on their faces. He realized Beth was right. His brother was more important to him than anything, even his own life.

Merle refused to let his mind wander from the beautiful woman under him for more than a second. He palmed her ass cheeks roughly. He pulled one hand back and slapped her ass playfully. His dick slammed in and out of her, each thrust bringing him deeper inside her. He kissed her neck while Daryl made his way down her chest. Daryl thrusted into her pussy erratically; he was so close. Merle felt his orgasm building up inside of him. Daryl threw his head back when Beth licked a steady line from his collarbone to jawline.

Beth's breathless squeals showed she was nearing the end. Every thrust of the men's hips pushed harder, faster. Merle's arms were braced on either side of Daryl's head. He watched his younger brother's eyes go wide then squeeze shut. Merle brought his forehead to Daryl's, Beth writhing and panting between them. He groaned ferally as Daryl's breath came in short pants. His hand moved to Daryl's head and pulled hard on a handful of the mop.

The brothers came at the same time; Merle's good hand lost in Daryl's hair, Daryl's hands clamped hard to Beth's hips. Her walls clenched around both men as she came for the third time that night. They rode out their orgasms together and collapsed into a hot, messy, and tired heap. Beth rolled off of Daryl's chest to lay between the two boys. Daryl pulled his full condom off, wiping the cum on his discarded shirt. Merle did the same. Beth pulled back the blanket, and they crawled into the makeshift bed. Daryl turned on his side, one arm under his head as he looked at Beth.

A tinge of jealousy hit Merle again as he watched the way his brother looked at Beth. Daryl liked her, maybe a little too much. But Merle knew this wasn't going to happen again, at least not regularly. Because the last time he said never again… well, this is where they ended up. He knew Beth wanted him, and he wanted her just as much. He lay on his back with his arm under Beth's head. He watched Daryl's eyes slide shut and traced lines of Beth's fair skinned body.

She snuggled up in the blankets between the warm men and in a quiet, sleepy voice, she sighed, "I love you."

Merle's eyes shot open at the sound of those three words. He stared at the ceiling, terrified to turn his head and look at Beth. He didn't know which terrified him more: the possibility that Beth wasn't talking to him, or the very real possibility that she was. The ceiling blurred in front of him, and the words repeated in his mind. No one had ever told him that, not once. When he gained the courage to look at Beth, she was fast asleep, with one hand on his chest and the other on Daryl's shoulder. He chanced a look at his brother, but his head was turned the other direction.

Merle settled into the bed, taking Beth into his arms. I love you, too, he thought silently.

Daryl stared unwaveringly into the patch of moonlight on the floor of the tower. He couldn't think of anything, not the bodies next to him, not the events that just unfolded, nothing. All his racing mind could conjure up were the three words that the little girl beside him just uttered sleepily. He let himself think for a one second that maybe she had meant them for both of the men, but he knew it was a lie as soon as it was thought. He laid still and heard first Beth, then Merle drift off to sleep.

The longer he laid awake, the more he thought. And the more he thought, the harder it was to keep the anger at himself from taking over his mind. He moved carefully from under the covers and found his jeans and wifebeater. The door creaked when he slipped out and Beth rolled over and mutter something that sounded like, "Where ya goin'?"

Daryl shut the door silently and walked out into the darkness.


	6. When Nothing Goes Right

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So wow this is super late. I had finals this week and now that they're over I had a chance to finally sit down and upload what I needed to, so I'm updating this one, and then the second installment of Brothers is coming momentarily! Thanks for all the kudos and I hope you enjoy this. :)

Beth felt the warmth of one man on her when she woke the next morning. She sat up and rubbed her eyes, seeing the empty spot where a few hours ago Daryl had been laying. She looked around worriedly and saw that his clothes, gun, and crossbow were all gone. She sighed sadly, not sure how to feel about the fact that he left in the middle of the night.

Maybe he didn't actually feel what she felt the night before. Maybe it was all for nothing. She flopped back down onto the sleeping bag and rummaged through the sheets to find her wrinkled clothes.

Merle began to stir beside her and soon she was pulled back into his tight embrace. "Good morning, angel," he sighed.

"Morning," Beth replied and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Well shit, it's bright out. What time is it?"

"Probably only 7 or 8. I have the morning watch, so we're fine."

"Mmm, I could stay right here all day, darlin'." Nevertheless, Merle stretched and got his clothes together. Just seeming to have noticed at that moment, he asked, "Where's my brother?"

"I don't know. He was gone when I woke up."

"Hmph. Probably had some shit to do for Rick." Merle shrugged. Beth hoped that was the reason for his leaving.

It was too late in the morning to carry the blankets back to the cell block without being noticed, so they stuffed them in the closet, and Merle decided he would get them later that night. He planted a good long kiss on his girl before walking down the stairs to face reality once again.

Daryl was quiet all day, not pissed, just quiet. Neither man was sure what to say. It couldn't be as easy as "Hey your girlfriend is a great lay" or "Good effort last night." So it was a long day of silent work and deep thought.

The thinking was mostly on Daryl's part. His brother's girlfriend, or whatever that shit was called these days, had said she loved  _someone_  last night. He shouldn't think that it was directed at him, but he felt so much better convincing himself of that.  _You're a damn fool. Ain't nobody that good gonna say they love you._

Still every time Daryl closed his eyes, he saw the young girl's body pressed against his, nothing but skin between them. He felt her gentle lips on his neck, trailing fire with every kiss.  _Fuck. You're in deep, Dixon._

The camp was in some sort of mood today. Something was off with the group. The walkers at the fence seemed louder, the crops seemed weaker, even the horse was jittery all day. Merle walked to the guard tower a few minutes before the sun set, and he was surprised by how warm of a night it was.

He relieved one of the younger Woodbury guys of watch and settled in for the night. The walkers at the south side of the fence were pushing particularly hard tonight. They were down to one fence between them and the walkers, since the first one was irreparable after the Governor's last attack. Merle could see the fence bending slightly from here, but he could tell it would stay until morning, probably longer than that.

When he had gotten to be late enough that most people inside would be asleep, he grabbed their sleeping bags and blankets from the closet and snuck them back into the cell block. On his way he could have sworn he saw something moving in the shadows, but after a quick look around he dismissed it as nothing and continued inside. He was shutting the main door when he heard a deafening crack and the sound of metal scraping metal.

"Shit," he ran to the front of the yard and saw the fence laying in shambles, a herd bigger than anything he'd ever seen heading straight for him. "Shit shit shit!" He backpedalled and heard someone scream, a quick yelp, and then gurgled silence. He slammed the cell door open and already people were emerging from their cells, cocking guns.

"What the hell happened?!" Rick yelled.

"Fence is down, and I ain't never seen a group of 'em this big, Rick. We better get out there and start puttin' 'em down if we're expectin' to win this one."

"Right, yeah," Rick started barking orders. "Carol, get the kids and stay in here, one of the cells up top. Somebody get the other cell blocks up and tell them to fight with what they can find! Everybody else, grab a gun!"

Merle flung open the door again, and immediately four walkers turned on him. "Ah, yeah come and get it, ya dumb fucks!" Merle fired off a round, easily taking them down. He felt a hand on his shoulder and flipped, ready to fire, but in turning around he lost his balance and felt a bolt fly past his ear and stick itself dead center in the freak's forehead.

Daryl ran to Merle, and they fell into a rhythm, killing anything that moved around them. But still they kept coming. The men caught glimpses of Rick, Glenn, Hershel, everyone fighting hard.

Merle's gun clicked when he pulled the trigger. "Shit! I'm out. There's too many, we're just wastin' bullets. Especially shootin' in the dark like this."

"So what, we just bail?!" Daryl yelled.

"No, we all get out on the bus! You go tell Rick, I'll find the others!" One question burned in the front of his mind.  _Where is Beth?_

The bus's engine started up with a roar. Merle fought his way to the cell door and wretched it shut behind him. He yelled orders, getting everyone out the back where the walkers hadn't gotten to yet. The bus pulled around the back, and he filed everyone onto it. Beth was still nowhere that he could see.

"Go, get out! We're right behind you!" Merle yelled, and the bus peeled out of the parking lot. He tore back through the cell block, grabbing his bag and the first thing he saw in Beth's cell and shoved it in his bag. The courtyard was a war zone. He saw Glenn and Maggie get in their car with Hershel. Finally he caught sight of a blonde ponytail in the distance.  _Good. She's alive. And with Daryl._

Merle took one step in the direction of his brother and then his path was blocked. He ran down an alleyway and along the fence, shooting whatever he could get a shot on.

Daryl, Rick, and Beth were left out front. They saw that there was no way they were winning this fight.

"Where's Merle?!" Beth yelled frantically.

"He's getting everyone on the bus! We'll meet him at the gas station! We gotta go, NOW!" Rick yelled.

Beth looked around reluctantly. Daryl grabbed her arm and yanked her out the back of the prison.

Merle was cornered. He had run to the end of the fence, right to where it met the building. He emptied the rest of his gun and still they came at him. His last chance was the door to his left that led down into the basement.  _Fuck._

* * *

Daryl, Beth, Rick, and Carl ran for what seemed like hours. They ran through the dark, falling and scraping their knees, and then getting back up and running more. They ran until they saw the sun coming up over the horizon. They stopped, their chests heaving and legs aching. Rick and Daryl set up a fire in a clearing, while Carl kept watch and Beth attempted to gather some berries and plants nearby.

As they sat around makeshift camp, no one could find a word to say. Beth's mind was racing with thoughts, none of which she could say out loud. But the most important question screamed in her head, so much that she was beginning to get a headache.  _Where is Merle?_

Daryl repeated the same mantra in his head. None of the survivors slept that night.

They knew they needed to get to the rendezvous point, an old gas station near the prison. It was a bit of a drive, and a good day's walk on foot, but they hadn't exactly anticipated leaving the prison without cars. So they set out at the break of day, following the position of the sun, just hoping they would find a landmark or  _something_  that would tell them where they were. By evening they were no closer to deciphering their location, and they were getting hungrier and more depressed with every passing minute.

Daryl was quiet all day, rightly so. He was worried about his brother; he had urged Rick to go back to the prison and check it out that morning.

"Daryl, even if we knew which way the prison was, we can't go back. There ain't anything to go back to," Rick had responded.

They came up on a farmhouse and after clearing it, decided they should stay there for the night. They feared that they were getting further from the gas station because this area looked even more unfamiliar than the way they came from. So Daryl and Rick made a game plan for the next day while Beth and Carl found some canned goods in the cellar. They ate a little, but knew they needed to save it for the journey ahead. Carl fell into a restless sleep next to Rick in the living room, and soon the father was asleep, too.

The farmhouse was very similar to the Greene's family home. Beth explored, reminded of her childhood with every deep creak in the floorboards and every distant croak of the crickets outside. She sat down lightly on one of the beds upstairs and laid back. Tears ran down her face softly, as she sent up a silent prayer to whoever would listen. She prayed to her daddy, to Maggie, and their mom. To Jim and Otis and Patricia and Lori and to everyone they had lost. Her tears turned to sobs without her noticing, and then she was running to the bathroom and heaving up what little food was in her stomach. Still she cried and tried to stifle her sobs in her ratty jacket.

She heard a door open with a bang and footsteps running down the hall. Hurriedly, she grabbed for her knife and stood ready behind the door. The bedroom door opened and he saw Daryl in the reflection of the bathroom mirror. He saw her in the same second.

"Good Lord girl, I thought somebody was dyin' up here. What the hell are you doing?" Daryl exclaimed, not seeming to take in her disheveled appearance and red eyes.

She quickly shut the lid to the toilet and walked out of the bathroom. "Sorry," she said with one last sniffle. She avoided his eyes as she slunk past him towards the door. She felt his arm grab her shoulder and spin her around.

He let go just as quick as he had grabbed her. He took a step back and now it was his turn to avoid her gaze. "You, uh, you okay?" He asked, awkwardly running his hand across the back of his neck.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Beth replied. "Well other than everything kind of sucking. But we're safe for now. And we'll find the others. We have to." She turned to leave again, to go down to the couch and try to sleep for at least a few hours.

"Hey, uh, wait," Daryl said, finally meeting her gaze when she spun back around.

"What no-" Beth stopped her snappy remark when she looked into his eyes and saw tears there.

She immediately went to him and embraced him. He shook silently for a few minutes, his sobs falling quietly into her blonde hair. They stayed like that for some time, him standing defeated, her arms holding him tightly. Eventually they parted and she looked up at him. This big, strong, fierce man looked down at her, the last few tears falling from his cheeks. He leaned down and kissed her easily, and Beth responded by bringing their bodies back together again.

He pulled her down to the bed, and Beth straddled him, their lips never leaving each others. He tasted salty and sweet, tears and blood and dirt mixing on their mouths. Daryl kissed her with a need that didn't demand, didn't force, but asked. She loved it, she loved everything about him.

In between kisses she opened her mouth and began to say something she could never take back. "I lo-" she stopped and sat up as fast as lightning. Her eyes were wide with astonishment and something like shame. "I can't, Daryl, I- I can't. I'm so sorry." She got off the bed and ran from the room.

Daryl was left alone.


	7. Go Left

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So yay for another update! (nevermind the fact that my last one was so late >_

It was pitch black in the room that Merle had shut himself into. He felt the walkers pounding on the door and heard their moans just inches from his body, the metal door the only thing between him and a painful death. He groped in the dark until he found a chair to prop it shut with, then flipped on his flashlight. He knew he didn't have much time.

He was in the storage building where they kept most of the extra supplies and blankets in the summer.  _Well, where they_ used _to keep it._ It was looking pretty bare now. Merle scavenged what he could before he heard the walkers pushing at the door with a revived vigor. There were no windows, and only one door, which opened straight to the center of the prison courtyard. But it was his only hope, as he watched the other door begin to bend inward under the weight of the dead.

Merle ran to the other door and cracked it open ever so slightly. What he saw practically made him sick. And he wasn't a squeamish man. A hoard was descending on a corpse not three feet from the door. He shut the door fast and a string of swear words fell from his lips.

There was nowhere to go; he was trapped.  _Well if this's how I'm gonna die, I ain't goin' down without a fight._ He pulled his knife out. _Not much of a way to die. Just thought it'd be more heroic or some shit._ He saw the first walker barrel toward him.  _I'm sorry, Beth. I love you._ He stood ready to take on the unending hoard. He looked beyond the first walker and caught sight of an air duct across the room.

He didn't think. He just ran. He ripped the grate free with his mechanical hand and threw his bag up. Using the little bit of strength he had left, he pulled himself up into the air duct and collapsed in a heap. He heard the angry roars beneath him. He turned around and started to crawl.

He had no idea where this tunnel led, but anywhere was better than the shitstorm behind him. Every grate he stopped at seemed to be less and less infested by walkers. Finally he recognized a far cellblock and pushed the cover out with a bang. He killed the walker nearest to him, then barrelled for the door. He knew where he was and the cars weren't far from this cell block. He just hoped to God that there was one left. He rounded the corner outside and saw his motorcycle. He sent up a silent hallelujah and jumped on. He let out a triumphant yell as he peeled out of the prison.

He reached the gas station without incident, since most of the walkers in a 100 mile radius were feasting at the prison. It was early evening when he pulled in, the rumble of his motorcycle drawing the survivors out of the station. Tyreese, Carol, and Glenn ran out and quickly ushered him inside. He saw most of the prison group huddled in the store, some crying, most just staring into space.

Two thoughts crossed his mind, warring for importance. "Is my brother here? Beth, is she here?" He looked around at the faces of the survivors. He got all the answer he needed, nodded, and walked right back out the door.

Carol protested. "Merle, what are you gonna do?!"

"Gonna go get my brother, what the fuck it look like?"

"You can't go out there alone, not right now. You look like you haven't slept in two days. Lay down, and Tyreese and you and a few others can go out tomorrow."

"No! They could be lost or trapped, and I ain't about to let them die without putting up a fight."

"Listen. What good are you gonna do if you go out there and get killed?"

Merle spun on Carol. "Nah, you listen to me, lady. That's my brother. And she-" An emotion that seldom anyone had seen in Merle was suddenly in his voice and in his expression. He spoke quietly. "I have to go get her. I can't hardly breathe thinkin' of what mighta happened to her. I gotta find her."

Carol stared at him for a hard second, then nodded. She called some people over, and they were ready to leave in minutes.

"You'll find her," Carol said quietly to Merle as he and the team walked out the door.

* * *

"Alright, try the engine one more time!" Dary yelled from underneath the hood of the truck. Rick turned the key and the engine sputtered to life, only to choke out seconds later.

Daryl kicked the rusty front bumper. "Goddamn piece a shit."

"Well, it was worth a try. Prob'ly why the owners left the keys behind," Rick commented, stepping out of the old Ford.

It was early the next morning, and they were getting ready to head out on day two. The farmhouse had provided minimal sleep for the group, and they were all a little testy today.

They headed the direction that Rick believed the gas station was. They had an old man of the county now, and Daryl and Rick were deciphering it, while Carl tried to be as helpful as possible.

Beth hung back and followed aimlessly, almost a walker herself. To say she got no sleep last night would be an understatement. She couldn't believe what had almost happened last night. She was ashamed at herself. She had decided somewhere between her and Merle's first time and their last time, that she did love Merle. She had never loved anyone in that way before, but she knew. She felt it in her bones, in her very soul that he was her love. Her first love.  _But maybe he isn't your only?_  her subconscious argued. So she had spent the better part of last night warring with those thoughts.

She watched the men walk in front of her. Soon it was afternoon, and the group was becoming for optimistic as they started to recognize the land. They stopped quickly to eat what little rations they had left with them.

Beth excused herself to go to the bathroom, and she caught Daryl looking at her. He handed her a gun and grunted out, "Be careful."

Beth nodded and found a secluded area to relieve herself. She was buttoning her pants back up when a twig snapped near her. She spun to see a walker a fair distance away. He had just turned and started running for her, two more hearing the noise and following suit.

Beth instinctively grabbed her knife and ran, knowing she could make it back to the clearing before they got close to her. She burst from the woods ten feet from the campfire. She yelled frantically, and Rick and Daryl's heads snapped up in attention. They were on the walkers quickly, and Beth got one good stab into the last one's neck. She struggled to remove the knife, and the walker gnashed its teeth at her arm. A bolt flew past her head and lodged itself in the geek's empty eye socket. Beth let out a heavy breath and wretched her knife from the rotten flesh.

Daryl stalked past her and pulled the bolt free. "Thought I told you to be careful?" He barked at Beth, loud enough to make Rick turn around and look at them quizzically.

Beth just gave Daryl an angry look and stomped back to the camp.

"C'mon. If we hurry, we could be there before sunset," Rick urged. The tired survivors pulled themselves together and trudged on.

They came up on the road that led to the gas station by six that night. Or at least that's what Rick's watch said, so it was a general idea of the actual time. They looked at each other with relief and walked with a newfound vigor, now that knew which way to go. After about an hour, there was a low rumble heard in the distance.

"Get down," Rick said, and they hunkered down into the underbrush beside the road quickly. They didn't recognize the vehicle that drove by, a big SUV pulling a horse trailer. They heard the moans before they saw what was in the trailer. They couldn't get a good look at the driver or passengers through the blacked-out windows. It passed by going the opposite direction of the gas station and, other than the disgust that it elicited from the group, without incident. They emerged from the woods a minute later.

"What kinda sick fuck-" Daryl shut his mouth. Beth looked at him sadly. He was about to ask  _What kind of sick fuck keeps those things around?_  but Hershel and his family had believed they were sick, that he could heal them. That had since changed after the farm got overrun. His brother, too, had gone out for the Governor and caught walkers so that some pricks could research them at Woodbury. They continued on quicker now, in fear of being seen by anyone else who happened to be roaming the streets.

* * *

At the station, the survivors were huddled in dark groups eating their meager suppers. Then Alan, a 20-something man from the Woodbury people, yelled "There's something coming!"

Immediately the group was up, Michonne and Tyreese at the door with their weapons ready.

"There's four of them!" Alan called out, and the survivors readied their weapons.

They were down by nearly half of their manpower since Merle had gone out with a team to find the others. The windows were so dirty here that Alan couldn't see anything but the strangers' feet. But that was enough to tell that they were human; they didn't lurch or drag their feet like walkers.

Alan lost sight of them when they got closer to the door. On Michonne's count, they burst open the door and demanded the strangers drop their weapons. What they found shocked them into silence.

* * *

Finally the gas station was in sight. They saw familiar cars out front, one of which included Maggie and Glenn's car and the turned to his dad with a smile, and Rick ruffled his hair encouragingly.

The building was silent as they approached it. Rick gave Daryl a look, shrugged, then brought his arm up to knock on the door. Suddenly the door burst open, knocking Rick back on his ass a foot away.

"Drop your weapons!" They heard a familiar voice yell. Michonne and Tyreese stood staring at the four people for a split second, then Tyreese helped Rick up and enveloped him in a tight hug. The next ten minutes was a blur of hugs and crying. They were ushered in and beds were made up, and they took some of the rations of canned food.

Beth stayed near Daryl unconsciously, sitting unusually close to him at dinner. Carol picked up on this quickly, and she wondered what had happened out there.

Beth barely had the energy to eat, let alone tell their whole story tonight. She could feel herself drifting even as she sat at the table, and Daryl's shoulder, just inches from her, looked comfier and comfier by the second. When she finished her food and the commotion had subsided, she couldn't fight it anymore and slowly slumped over so that she was leaning on Daryl's warm body.

He stiffened at the touch, surprised that she was cuddling up to him at all, let alone in front of everyone at the counter. He looked down at her and saw that she was fast asleep. Smiling lightly on the inside, he got up carefully and put her arm around his shoulder and guided her to her bed, the watchful eyes of the group burning holes in the back of his leather vest.

 _What was little Beth Greene doing hanging around with those Dixon boys? Oh she was so good, what's she doing getting into trouble?_ Echoes of what the group was surely thinking went through Daryl's mind. He wasn't sure if that was what they would say, and he was also pretty sure that the rules of society didn't apply in this world. But still he couldn't help the thoughts from coming.

As Beth drifted off to a blissful sleep in her bed on the floor, it struck her that she hadn't thought of Merle all night. In fact, she hadn't even seen him here tonight. But her body succombed to sleep before she even had the chance to sit up and look for him.

Daryl laid in bed and listened to Beth breathing softly in the bed next to him. He should be tired; he should be dead on his feet. But Merle still wasn't here. Carol had told him that his brother had gone out a few days ago to search for them. He knew Merle could handle himself, but it still occupied his thoughts.

But what occupied his thoughts more was the girl next to him. The events of the night before echoed in his mind. He had been vulnerable, as much as he hated to admit it, and she had been comforting him. Clearly, he had misinterpreted that comfort for something more. But it didn't help that she was so fucking, present. She was always there, and Daryl wasn't used to that.

As he laid in bed, he got more annoyed at her. She asked him to fuck her, with his brother, one night and then couldn't even kiss him the next night? He wasn't what she wanted. He wasn't good enough. But his jerk of a brother was. What the fuck kind of logic was that? His anger brewed all night, and when he woke up, he was no closer to easing his mind.


	8. Detonation

Beth woke up and smelled the sweet scent of leather. For a second, she thought was was still dreaming that she was in her barn, polishing saddles for her daddy's horses. But when she opened her eyes it was dark, and the leather was squashed against her face. She was totally disoriented; how long had she been asleep? Where was she? And what the hell was this leather thing?

She peeled her face from the soft material and saw that it was attached to Daryl. She opened her eyes wider and sat herself up with a jolt. She looked around quickly, but no one was up yet. At some point in the night apparently she had rolled over and laid against him. She actually laughed out loud at the thought of what that must have looked like, then realized that she was just _snuggling_ with  _Daryl Dixon._  That thought made her laugh harder and soon she was stifling her giggles in her blanket.

All this time Daryl had been moving, not quite awake. Eventually he rolled onto his back and looked over at Beth, who was wiping tears from her eyes. He almost asked what was so funny, because she looked like she just had the best time of her life, but then he remembered the events of the last week and his animosity towards her flared up.

She looked at him smiling, and he just rolled back over and got up.

_Guess he woke up on the wrong side of bed._  Then she fell into another fit of laughter. She worried for Merle, but she knew he could care of himself out there, and if he wasn't back this morning, he would be back by afternoon. Evening at the latest.

But morning turned to afternoon and there was still no sign of the group. They were worried; they only had rations for about a week and they were on day four now. They needed a better structure. They could barely see out of these windows, and if a herd or another group came through, they wouldn't stand a chance.

Daryl wanted to go out after his brother.

"We've already got half our group gone, we don't want to lose anybody else," RIck urged.

Daryl leaned against the counter, trying to conceal his anger. "You don't get it. I'm just fine out there on my own. I'll find him and bring him back, and we can go on our merry way, a'right?"

"We need you here Daryl. You're just gonna walk out and get yourself killed, and then what? What about everyone else here?" Rick countered.

Daryl got up from the counter and got in Rick's face, his anger sudden and white hot. "What if this was your family, Rick? What if it was Shane? You know, before he went crazy and ya killed him!" The group fell silent. The few people left in the group who knew Shane almost audibly gasped. Rick stared at Daryl, and Daryl stared back unapologetically.

"Well, I can't stop you," Rick said quietly. He turned and walked away. Daryl looked around the room slowly then left with a bang of the metal door.

He went too far. He knew it the second he said it, but he couldn't take it back. This was his brother they were talking about. But he also knew that his anger was misdirected. He was just mad, mad at everything. And the worst part was, he couldn't even deal with it. He wasn't gonna start any sort of conversation with Beth about it, because what good would that do? She made her decision, and Daryl wasn't about to get in the middle of it. That night in the farmhouse, the message was clear; she had said "I can't do this." But every time he closed his eyes, he saw her on top of him, smiling down at him, no room between them.

Daryl opened his eyes and scoffed. He must have looked like such a little bitch. To believe that she would have said those words or done those things because she loved him.

He pulled a pack of Marlboros from his pocket and lit one. They were stale as shit, but they calmed him down. He was still pissed, but at least he could control this part of him. He stood against one of the pumps and watched the sun crawl across the afternoon sky.

"You shouldn't smoke near those, ya know," a voice said.

He knew who it was. He didn't turn. "Yeah, shouldn't do a lotta the shit I been doin' now'days." They were silent for a minute.

"Listen, I never apologized for the other night at the house."

"'S fine," Daryl mumbled without looking at her. He flicked the ash off of his cigarette and took another long drag.

"It's just, I feel awful. I was confused. I don't know what came over me," Beth continued.

"Said 's fine," Daryl growled, growing annoyed with her.

Beth was oblivious to his anger. She took his arm gently and led them out of the view of the windows. She took his chin and made him look at her, despite the obvious distaste in Daryl's eyes. "It's not fine. I just really want to make sure you know-"

Daryl couldn't take it. He cut her off. "Oh I understand, girl. I understand that all ya wanted was to fuck with me. Ya used me, and I ain't too happy about that. Ya didn't want nothin' but somebody else to fuck!" Daryl punctuated his anger with a wave of his arm.

"Daryl, no, that's not true. You were so sad and lonely, and I just wanted to help."

"Who the fuck are you to say how I am? So what if I'm lonely? It's the goddamn apocalypse. Everybody's alone!" Daryl was in her face now. Beth shrunk back.

"I didn't mean to hurt you."

Daryl sneered. "I ain't hurt, I'm pissed. Ya wrapped me around yer fuckin' finger with yer eyes and yer fuckin' body. The way you walk around actin' like yer some innocent kid, when obviously you ain't."

Beth's face had grown red, and she stared at the man angrily. Daryl opened his mouth to continue, but the girl cut him off. "I never claimed to be innocent! I'm sorry I'm 19 freaking years old! I haven't had enough 'experience' to be considered an adult. Well newsflash! I haven't exactly had time to be a normal adult."

Daryl was unfazed by her anger. Their bodies were flush against the other, but there was nothing romantic about this situation. Daryl got so close to her that she had to take a step back to avoid falling. She hit the wall of the store and looked up furiously at the man.

"That ain't even the worst part! Got a whole list a shit that's been fuckin' me up about you."

Beth got in his face right back at him. "I don't believe that for a second. You wanna know why you're mad?" She didn't wait for an answer. "You're mad at me because I made you feel something! I made you feel somethin' other than anger or resentment or sadness! And that scared you. You're only doing this because you're afraid. You're scared that for one second you might have _emotions_!"

"I ain't afraid a nothin'," Daryl growled out.

"That's bullshit and you know it!" Beth yelled at him.

"You don't know shit. I'll tell you why I'm pissed! What you fuckin' said that night? I was dumb enough to believe for one second that you meant it for me." Daryl laughed without humor.

"What I said? What are you talking about?" Beth replied. Their voices were rising with every word.

"That 'I love you' shit! Fuck that!"

Beth's eyes got wide, but her look of confusion went unnoticed by the man. "Daryl, I-"

"No, fuck you! I'm done dealing with that crap." Daryl stared at her for a few seconds more, then spun and walked heavily around the corner of the building. As soon as he was out of Beth's sight, he stopped and his fist smashed into the object closest to him.

The dumpster took a good hit, but his hand took a worse one. Daryl sat down hard against the siding of the building and looked at his pulsing hand. He could see the red spreading under his skin and pooling beneath his already bulging knuckles. He couldn't feel an ounce of the pain.

He closed his eyes and sat until the sun went down behind his eyelids.

Beth watched Daryl go with a stunned expression. She couldn't believe what she had done. She messed up big time. She racked her brain for any recollection of what she said that night. Clearly her subconscious knew more about her emotions than she did. She couldn't go back into the room, not looking like this. She could feel her cheeks burning with anger and sadness, her eyes filled to the brim with tears.

She sat down against the building and closed her eyes, wondering what she would do about the mess she made.

* * *

The group was on edge all night. The team had been gone for almost four days now, and they were beginning to fear the worst. But when it was nearing midnight, they saw headlights down the road. Beth couldn't sleep, and she had been writing absentmindedly by a window in the moonlight when the headlights shined into the store. She jumped up excitedly as the woman on watch yelled out, "They're back!"

The group was up in seconds, and Beth pushed her way to the doors. When it was confirmed that this was their team back, she was the first one out the door, looking wildly for Merle.

Merle was on the back of the truck and was staring at the ground as he walked to the edge and jumped down with a huff. He looked up to see Beth running to him. He couldn't believe his eyes. She was alive. She was here.

She was in his arms in seconds, and then they were kissing. She clutched at his shirt and his arms, with a grip so tight Merle knew it was leaving marks. He was covered in blood and bruises, but in that moment he could feel nothing but Beth's sweet body and her lips on his. Merle wrapped the little girl in his arms and kissed her back in pure shock. He didn't care who saw them and neither did she. They parted a miniscule amount to hug and she buried her face in his chest, tears streaming down her face. He took in the scent of her, albeit it was the scent of dirt and a musty room, but it was her. His angel was in his arms. She was so beautiful looking up him all teary eyed and smiling.

Beth hadn't realized how badly she had been worried until she saw the truck pull in. She looked into his eyes and with a sob said, "I love you."

His eyes widened, but he said back without hesitation, "I love you, too."

She laughed and brought her lips up to his again.

When Daryl saw his brother and Beth kissing, jealousy flared up, but it was quickly crushed by the happiness of seeing his brother alive. When Merle and Beth parted, Daryl took his brother into a hard hug, Merle patting him on the back. He never was one for brotherly affection, but the last week or so had changed that. He was truly relieved to see his brother alive.

The men and women arriving back settled in and recounted their experiences. Merle and the group had gone back to the prison, where they found nothing by desolation. They canvassed the area for days, watching for survivors.

They had lost one man named Eric when they were caught in a jam. The group fell silent at the news of this. Eric was a determined Woodbury fighter; he was a good man. They quietly gave him a farewell and went on with the story.

They searched every building from the prison to the gas station and on every road within 30 miles of the prison. They were pushed to their wits end, but they would have searched longer if they hadn't run out of food. Eventually they all settled into bed and decided they would unpack and set up a game plan in the morning.

* * *

Merle and Beth were hidden in the back room. They sat by the window, their bodies as close together as they could get. After they had come in and got settled down, there had been so much commotion and craziness that they had scarcely a second together. Now they just stared at each other and smiled and touched and kissed until they couldn't breathe.

Merle felt like he was 9 years old again, and a girl at school had just told him she thought he was cute. He smiled like an idiot at the angel in his arms, just taking her in to make sure she was really here. Beth did the same, holding on to him tightly.

"I'm never lettin' you go again, ya hear me?" Merle said gruffly into her hair. "I'm stayin' with you no matter what."

Beth laughed. "Good, because I'm never letting you go either."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was really happy to write this chapter. I love to explore the dynamic of how Beth can be when she's angry versus scared versus happy/lovestruck. And, as bad as it may seem, I could write angry Bethyl fights all day... Hope you all enjoyed and as always thank you for being lovely readers.


	9. In My Veins

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the late update, guys! This chapter is mainly smut, and it involves some rough stuff, but it's nothing bad. And it has a happy ending. :) Enjoy!  
> Also, while I did post this on Fanfiction.net, I read it over before I post the chapters, so there might be a few words here and there that I changed, if you read this on that site already!

"Well, where do we go from here?"

The group was huddled around the store counter figuring out their next move. They couldn't stay here, and they didn't have the firepower or the numbers to take back the prison.

For once, Rick didn't know what to do. Where to go. Daryl saw this in the way the other man was looking on helplessly at the tired survivors. He stepped up.

"When all this started, we was hearin' those broadcasts about Fort Benning. I mean, we made it this far, and that's the biggest military base in the state. Gotta count for somethin', right?"

The group slowly nodded and turned to Rick. He was looking away with a pained expression. Fort Benning had been the plan in the beginning, after Rick's failed attempt at the CDC. It was Shane's plan. They never made it there after Sophia was lost and Carl was shot.

"That's a long way away," Carol said, concerned.

Daryl nodded. "Ain't got many options though." They stood in silence. Rick composed himself and gave Daryl an appreciative look, all anger from the fight yesterday forgotten. He addressed the group.

"Daryl's right. We don't know what's any other direction, but we know where Fort Benning is." They looked around nervously, everyone thinking what no one wanted to say. That is, except Rick, who could see the fear in their eyes. "And if it's overrun, we take it back. Or we run. Just like we did with the prison. Just like we've always done."

It was strange to think that the word "always" meant just these last couple of years. It felt like lifetimes.

Rick said this with a fierceness that showed the others, his family, that he would stop at nothing to keep them safe.

* * *

They spent one more night in the gas station, packing up the cars and preparing for the journey.

The bus of Woodbury people had parted ways with Rick's group at the gas station. They had family and friends in Florida, and they decided that they would try their luck there. So Rick had sent them off with food and weapons, and they made their departure.

They set out at dawn. They would need to stop for food before the day was through. Rick, Carl, Judith, and Michonne were in the first car; Maggie, Glenn, Tyreese, and Sasha in the second; and Daryl, Beth, and Merle were in last in an old pickup, towing Merle's bike in the bed. Stupid as it was, the brothers couldn't seem to part with the damn thing. Merle had bought it for himself years ago, after winning big on a horse race bet. It helped that they always seemed to have a place to keep it when they couldn't ride it.

The arrangements worked out fine for Beth. There was no more room in Maggie and Glenn's car, so she didn't need to do much explaining as to why she was sitting between the two men now. Riding in the truck with Merle was perfect to her; she never wanted him out of her sight again. It was Daryl she was feeling pretty awkward about. They hadn't spoken, had barely looked at each other since the fight. The fight that Merle still didn't know about. He didn't know about any of it yet; Beth had left that bit out of the story of their trek here.

She was going to tell him, she promised herself. They were just so happy at the time that she couldn't bear to ruin the moment. So the next time they were alone, she would tell him.

As for right now, there would be little talking going on. Merle was asleep in the passenger seat, still tired from a week of getting hardly any sleep. Daryl drove in silence, sitting as far from Beth as possible. The radio held nothing but static, obviously, so the only sounds were the din of the engine and the roar of the road. Every time Beth got up the courage to say something, she was always startled back into silence by a sudden cough or shift in the seat by Daryl. Beth had too noticed the man's bruised and scarred hand. She wanted to ask if he was okay, but she was certain the anger that made him do it was a direct result of her. So she stayed silent.

Daryl could cut the tension in the car. He was still mad, but his better judgment said that he should apologize. In the end, though, his pride won out and he refused to apologize. He hadn't done anything wrong, up until he said what he did to Beth. That was almost too much. They hadn't talked about that either yet. So until she said something to him, he was just gonna keep his trap shut and drive.

* * *

Fort Benning was over 100 miles away, and the group made it about 50 on the first day. They stayed off the main roads and avoided big groups of walkers, which made for a much longer, but much safer trip. They stopped at a convenience store and set up for the night.

Beth and Merle were lain together in the darkest corner, both needing sleep but not daring to take their eyes, or their hands, off of each other. Beth loved him so much, and Merle couldn't believe an old SOB like him had such an amazing girl to call his own.

He kissed her passionately, his one good hand gliding over her body with precision. He had grown to know every inch of her, every curve of her figure, every smooth line or rough scar of her body.

Beth pulled back for a second. She took a deep breath. "I need to talk to you about something."

"What is it, angel?" Merle asked, slightly guarded.

"After the prison, we found a farmhouse and I was crying and Daryl came to see if I was okay, yanno? And we, we hugged and stuff, and then we kissed." Merle's body tensed beside her. "But it wasn't anything, just for a second and I stopped it." The last part rushed out, and she stared worriedly into Merle's eyes.

The man took it in for a second, his expression giving nothing away. When he answered, his voice was a low growl. "I don't know what you thought that night meant, but I sure as hell know it didn't mean I was okay with you kissin' nobody else again."

"I know, that's why I stopped it right away. I felt awful. And then we got in a fight and he said I told him I loved  _someone_  that night in the tower, and I just-I needed to tell you, and I understand if you-if you're mad at me."

Merle was angry and confused, and this was why he didn't involve himself with other people. His emotions were wild ever since he started this thing with Beth. But at the mention of a fight with Daryl, his anger was redirected. "What happened? Did he hurt you?" Somewhere in Merle's mind, he knew Daryl wouldn't touch her, but he had to ask.

"No, oh God, no. We just yelled at each other. He said he was mad because I let him believe I loved him, but I mean-" Beth stopped. Now wasn't the time to voice her thoughts about Daryl and love. That was for another day, maybe another lifetime. She watched Merle's expression. "I'm so sorry." She couldn't find anything else to say.

Beth's eyes shined and Merle's were blank slates. He was angry, he knew that. Sad, a little. But anger was most prevalent.

Suddenly, Merle grabbed Beth's face fiercely, and she flinched, remembering the harsh slap she received months ago when she got between him and a man he was beating up. Merle was unphased by her surprise, and then his lips were on hers with a crushing weight.

His hand gripped her hair tightly in fistfuls. It hurt a little, but Beth was too busy to take notice. He grabbed her hip and pulled her against him roughly. She deepened the kiss, but earned a harsh bite on her bottom lip. Her shirt was ripped off, and he bit her small breasts with a ferocity that surprised Beth. She let out a small moan at the feeling. Merle's hand came down hard on her chest and up to her throat. He held her tightly, not enough to hurt her, but enough that Beth got the message.

She had never seen him like this. Somewhere in her mind, she knew she should be worried, but the better part of her mind was unable to form a coherent thought. He was mad at her, and she knew it. This was him releasing the anger.  _Two can play that game._

Merle's erection strained against his jeans, and Beth snaked her hand down his body and palmed him slowly, working at his zipper. She pulled his hard erection from his boxers and stroked it hard, and felt Merle's nails dig into her ass. She ground her center up Merle's length until she heard a low moan from his throat. That moan unleashed all the pent up emotions in Merle. She laughed silently to herself at her accomplishment.

Her laugh was cut short when Merle let go of her throat and pulled her shorts down to her knees and slapped her ass hard. She rocked her body on him again, and his teeth latched onto her breast. When he pulled back, he grabbed her hair and yanked her head down to his face. He buried his face in her hair and growled out, "You're mine."

He pushed her back, and his dick slid into her quickly. She yelped at the feeling, but soon moaned louder with pleasure. Merle's hand held tighter to her throat this time, and she bounced up and down on him hard. It was sloppy and frenzied, and Beth couldn't get enough.

Merle picked up the pace, sitting up and throwing Beth into his lap to slam into her harder. His hand around her throat was tighter even now, and it was starting to hurt, but Beth's mind was clouded by ecstasy. She practically screamed as she was pushed off of him and pulled back at a staggering pace.

She could feel in Merle that he needed this. He needed to pound out all the worry and anger and sadness that he had experienced in the last weeks. So she let him, and she was thrown on and off of him, all the while Merle's feral moans falling into her sweat-soaked hair.

He bit down sharply on her neck, and this time his voice was strong in her ear when he growled out, "You. Are. Mine." Each word was punctuated with a hard thrust into her. Her breathing hitched, and she came on his rock hard dick inside her.

He pulled out of her as she rode out the orgasm.

She hardly had time to catch her breath before she was flipped over. Merle's mechanical hand pushed her to the ground, and the cold metal on her back shocked her. His other hand teased her ass, pinching and slapping before his big length entered her.

"Oh! Oh...Ohhh my God." She moaned as her tight hole grew accustomed to Merle's size. He pounded into her mercilessly. She knew she would have bruises on her hips and ass in the morning.

She knew she was being punished, in a way only Merle knew how to do. She was more than happy to be punished by him if this was what the punishment was every time. His grunts behind her grew sporadic, and she reached back to work herself up to another orgasm. Merle's hand pulled hers away, and he rubbed her roughly until her moans reached a peak and he released his cum inside of her hole.

He laid down beside her, breathing heavily. She curled up to him slowly, wondering if he would want to cuddle after that display. To her relief, he wound his arm around her body and held her. It was so long before he spoke that Beth feared he had fallen asleep. This time his words were soft, a sigh. "You're mine."


	10. Be Not So Fearful

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this is late and I am trash, so I'm planning on uploading the next chapter today too, as an apology for me being forgetful and busy! So enjoy. :) The title of this chapter is obviously from the song when the group is walking into Terminus!

The next day Merle woke up with a bone to pick with his brother, to say the least. He had been glad his brother was safe, but that happiness lasted a short time when Beth told him about their kiss. He cornered him after breakfast, before they were planning to leave.

"Got somethin' you wanna tell me?" Merle asked his brother.

Daryl looked at him, confusion on his face. "What're ya talkin' about, Merle?"

"Talked to Beth last night."

Daryl's eyes widened. "Hey listen, it was nothin', man. We were just havin' a fight, nothin' bad happened-"

Daryl's words were cut off when Merle decked him across the face. Daryl's head cracked to the side, and he rubbed his cheek. He looked at Merle incredulously, then his fist slammed into his brother's nose. He hit him fast, and Merle was not expecting it. The stunned man took a step back and surged forward, knocking his brother to the ground.

Merle punched him mercilessly, until Daryl got a hold on his mechanical hand and pulled the older man off of him. He stood up and wiped his mouth that was now dripping blood from a split lip. Merle wretched himself up, and the brothers stared each other down, waiting for the other one to make a move.

The sound of the fight had drawn the attention of Rick and a few others that were outside getting ready. The group watched warily as Rick asked, "What the hell's goin' on?"

Daryl answered, "Nothin' important." He broke eye contact with Merle and walked away. "Let's just get out of here," he growled under his breath.

Merle followed him, feeling the bruise already rising in his cheek where Daryl had hooked him good. "Hey. We're good now, brother. Just needed to get that bit a anger out."

Daryl stared at him angrily. Merle was the one person Daryl was genuinely scared by. His brother, when he was doped up, drunk, and pissed off, had enough anger to burn a city down. But his expression softened as he realized that this display was the closest thing to their old life that they had experienced since the start of this whole thing. Which was pretty pathetic if you asked him. "Yeah. 'M sorry."

"Me too, brother." Merle clapped him on the shoulder, and they went back to readying the cars.

* * *

They hit a snag at noon when Glenn's car started pouring black smoke. They stopped the convoy and after further inspection, determined that the car was shot.

The sound of the truck was heard before it was seen. The survivors panicked momentarily, until they silently slid under the cars, closing the hood of the car and pulling their guns under with them. They prayed that the truck would pass them by.

Much to their dismay, the truck rumbled to a stop next to the line of cars.

A powerful voice rang out. "Alright, we search the cars fast and get on our way!" Three pairs of boots dropped from the army vehicle.

Merle had his arm around Beth under the tank, and Daryl was pressed against her other side. They saw a large pair of boots approach the truck and wretch the door open. There was a rustling of the bags and then a water bottle fell from the cab and rolled under the truck. The three's eyes widened and they reached for their guns.

The man's knees were on the ground, then his thighs, then his chest, and finally he was staring the three survivors in the eyes. There was absolute silence for a second, then the man gave them a puzzled look and said, "Now what the hell are ya doin' down here?"

The only answer the man got was Merle's gun in his face.

"Well now I ain't lookin' for trouble. Why don't you folks come out, and we can talk," the man suggested, getting up and offering a hand. Merle didn't take his eyes off the stranger and refused his hand. Daryl and Beth crawled out the other side, and Daryl stepped in front of Beth protectively.

The man was tall, and buff, in an abused army uniform. He was a redhead, with a heavy mustache and commanding eyebrows. "I just wanna talk. Ain't here to hurt ya." Still, he had his hand near the pistol on his hip. He had the audacity to continue, "I'd feel much better if you lowered your guns, though."

"Nah, don't think that's gonna happen," Merle scoffed humorlessly. "Who're you?"

"Name's Sergeant Abraham Ford, US Army. And yours, stranger?"

Merle's gun lowered slightly at the mention of the man's army experience. The man looked like he didn't intend to harm them. Merle didn't answer his question, instead asking another. "What d'ya want?"

The man answered without missing a beat. "Food. Shelter. Safety. But mostly, I want you to answer my question before askin' any of yer own." Tension hung palpable in the air.

A man and woman emerged from behind the vehicle, and Abraham gestured to the cars. "Check under 'em." They pulled out the rest of the group, but did not use force. Rick and Glenn came to stand next to Merle and Daryl.

"Well you aren't gettin' any of that here, so you best be on yer way," Daryl said with force.

"Hey now, I said I didn't want any trouble. Just maybe a mutual gain sorta situation," Abraham suggested. He went on to introduce his two companions. "This is Rosita Espinosa." She was a thin woman with dark hair pulled up behind her head; she couldn't have been more than 25.

"And this man here, is Dr. Eugene Porter. He knows the cure to this shitstorm we're livin' in." Dr. Porter was a larger guy, awkward, with a black mullet that looked straight out of the seventies on a good day.

The survivors' eyes widened at the mention of a cure. They eyed the group warily, and then Glenn lowered his gun. The rest of the men followed suit, seeing that these strangers did not mean any harm.

Rick was the first to speak, telling the new group his name. They went down the line introducing themselves. Abraham offered them a box of granola bars as a peace offering, and they relaxed.

Rosita smiled at Carol holding Judith. "That's a beautiful baby," she commented. The new people acclimated to the group quickly, talking about their time on the road and what had just happened with the prison. Rick asked, "Dr. Porter, you know a cure?"

The man looked startled that someone had addressed him. "Uh, Eugene is just fine. And yes, I've been in contact with DC for a month now. But the radio went dead about a week ago."

"You folks got a plan of your own?" Abraham asked, seeing the obvious distaste in Rick's expression.

"Yeah. Fort Benning."

Abraham was shaking his head. "I was stationed down near there when this all started. Heard wind of Benning gettin' overrun pretty early. We sent out a team of 10 to assess the damage, ya know? Three came back. Wasn't even enough left of the others to bring back. So if I were you, I'd stay the hell away from there."

The group visibly deflated at this information.

"Like I was sayin' before, we're headin' to DC. But its a long trip. And we need people. Firepower. Strength. We could use your group. And it's looking like your best option if ya ask me," Abraham said.

"We'll think about it," Rick said, dubiously. "As for now, we're needing some supplies. You got any gas you can spare?"

Abraham shook his head. "'Fraid not. There's a store a few miles up, could prob'ly syphon some gas from the cars there."

"Alright, we'll head that way in the morning. We'll sleep in the cars tonight," Rick said, acknowledging his group.

They nodded and settled in for the night. Daryl grabbed a blanket from the cab of the truck, and not wanting to sleep inside with Beth and his brother, made himself comfortable in the bed of the truck. Beth glanced at him sadly before crawling into the truck with Merle.

* * *

It was the middle of the night when Daryl felt the first few drops of rain. Within minutes the skies had opened and a torrential downpour was soaking the man. He pulled the blanket up over his head and covered his bag. The truck door opened with a loud creak and Beth yelled, "Daryl come in! You're getting soaked!"

Daryl ignored her; the rain was already letting up. He stared out at the road until he felt the truck bed dip and Beth crawled up next to him. He could feel her eyes on him, but he refused to look at her. She put her hand on his shoulder and said, "Hey."

Daryl grunted; technically that wasn't  _saying_  anything.

Beth didn't say anything else, just sat next to him while the rain continued to drizzle slowly. She was wearing shorts and a tank top, and soon she began to shiver. But she was not moving until Daryl acknowledged her. She wasn't mad at him; his anger at her was justified.

Her body shook with the chill of the rain until her teeth were chattering. Even if Daryl was a stubborn bastard, he couldn't let the girl freeze out here. He shrugged off the blanket, which was soaked with water, and gave her his warm jacket with an almost inaudible, "Here."

"Thanks," Beth said, smiling lightly at him. Still they did not talk.

But a little while later, Beth felt a light touch on her hand and stiffened to feel Daryl's hand leaning awkwardly against hers.

"I, uh, didn't mean what I said to ya the other day," Daryl said after another minute.

"I know."

"Just tell me. What you said that night, d'you remember it?"

"Merle told me." Beth cringed at her unconscious carelessness. "But if I had known before now, I wouldn't have put you through all that."

"Oh." Daryl took a deep breath. "But you, uh, you meant it for my brother, right?" He trailed off to a mumble, and Beth looked straight ahead, her mind racing on what she should say.

"Daryl.." Beth started, but her voice faded when she saw his expression

"I gotta know."

He looked scared, more scared than she had ever seen him when they were fighting walkers or running for their lives. He deserved the truth. "The truth is, Daryl, I don't know. I love him; I'm sure of it. But you…" Beth reached up and touched his cheek lightly.

Daryl turned away, her hand dropping back into her lap. Their hands were still touching between them, and now Daryl looked down at their fingers. "Yeah." He removed his hand.

Beth gripped his hand, not allowing him to let go. "Daryl. Look at me." He lifted his head level with hers. "I don't what we are. But whatever it is…" Beth sighed. "It's something. Can't that be enough right now? Can't we just hold hands and be friends, but at the end of the night go back to our own beds and not label whatever this is?"

Daryl didn't answer, just pulled his hand from her grasp for real this time. He nodded almost imperceptibly. "I'm gonna go for a walk."

Beth reached after him. "Daryl."

"It's fine. I got it. I'll be back before dawn."

Beth sat alone on the truck bed for the rest of the night. She woke up when Merle got out of the truck and shook the frame. No one else was awake yet; Merle was used to waking up before dawn.

"What are you doin' out here, angel?" He asked, giving her a kiss.

Beth stretched, noticing that Daryl still wasn't back beside her. "I just wanted some air. It gets stuffy in there at night."

Merle nodded and kissed her again before walking into the woods to relieve himself.

Daryl walked out a few yards down from where Merle walked in. He didn't acknowledge Beth climbing out of the back of the truck; instead he walked past her and into the drivers seat. But when Beth turned back around, a small yellow flower was set on the bed of the truck


	11. Bad Moon Rising

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Alright, so as promised, here's another chapter to make up for my lateness! I've been bouncing ideas around for a while about what to do with my other story, Brothers on a Hotel Bed, so I've been neglecting my update schedule lately! But I do love this story so much and I'm so happy about the kudos and the response from you guys! I can't tell you how much I appreciate it.

They went as a group on the run. "We're not splitting up again," Rick had said. Abraham, Rosita, and Eugene came as well to replenish their supplies. The run went without a hitch, aside from a rogue walker coming after Rosita, but it was quickly killed. Abraham held her to his chest as she caught her breath. They kissed shortly before parting to help gather supplies.

They found little food, but more than enough gas and one added bonus: liquor. It was hidden in a compartment behind the counter, where the owner would have stashed a gun to deter robbers. A gun would have been nice too, but beggars can't be choosers. There were four big bottles, sealed and filled to the brim.

They decided to stay the night in the store and figure out the game plan in the morning.

Rick cracked open the first bottle and took a long swig. "Ah!" He passed the bottle to Daryl on his right, who took a long drink himself then passed it around the circle.

When the bottle got to Carl, he looked at his dad cautiously. Rick nodded laughing, and Carl took a quick sip. He nose wrinkled at the sharp taste, but he lifted the bottle again to take a longer pull. The survivors cracked up, and Rick took the bottle from a snickering Carl. "Don't get carried away," Rick said jokingly, taking another sip himself.

"You better be careful, Rick, or else we're gonna need to be tellin' you the same," Maggie commented, looking pointedly at him.

This was really the first night since the prison fell that the group could relax and realize that they had  _found each other again_. Their spirits were up, and everyone sat and talked with what had essentially become their family over time.

Beth laughed and talked with Sasha and Bob, Merle never more than a few feet from her. He was talking to Abraham and Rosita, telling them the less than impressive story of his time in the military. "So I said to him," Merle slurred his words a bit, "'You know what, Sergeant Dickhole? Fuck you.' And he didn't like that one bit, no sir." Abraham had to set his cup down he was laughing so hard.

Merle continued, "He got in my face, yellin' 'bout respectin' yer superiors, and I got real riled up and I gave him a good hard hit across the jaw. Laid him out flat, I did. 'Course, the general didn't see me fit to be in the service after that, so that was the end of Cadet Dixon." The men were one step from rolling on the ground laughing by the end.

"You don't know how many time's I've wanted to do that to some of those sons of bitches!" Abraham roared with laughter.

Beth half-listened to Sasha talk about her hometown; mostly she just liked to listen to Merle tell his ridiculous stories.

Daryl watched from his spot next to Carol. He got up unsteadily to refill his cup. He reached for it at the same time as a small hand did. He looked up, a little dizzy, and saw that it was that new girl. Rosie? Rosa? Rosita. His inebriated mind took a minute to realize that he was still grasping her hand. "Go ahead," he said, pulling his hand back with a jerk.

She poured herself a cup and gestured with the bottle toward Daryl. He stuck out his cup and she filled it as well. He nodded his thanks at her.

"No problem," she said, before walking back to her spot next to Abraham. He put his arm around her, but it was almost as if it was by habit, not for any particular reason. Likewise, she didn't seem too invested in his conversation; she just sat next to him and drank her liquor.

Although they were happy, they knew the festivities would have to come to an end. The group slowly fell asleep in whatever bed they happened to be sitting on. Daryl sat in the dark, his alcohol long gone. He needed to piss. He weaved his way shakily through the groups of sleeping survivors and opened the door silently.

"Ouch!" Daryl jumped at the harsh whisper. The darkness moved and Rosita's face came into focus. She got up in a similar fashion as he did, with a bottle in her hand.

"Sorry," Daryl mumbled awkwardly. "Ya okay?"

"'M fine. You going out?" she asked quietly.

"Ya."

"Where?" Rosita asked, narrowing her eyes.

"Takin' a piss. You wanna join?" Daryl shot at her.

Rosita laughed a little too loud, then covered her mouth. "Sorry," she whispered through her fingers.

Daryl just nodded and opened the door. Rosita held the door and followed. "I wasn't serious about ya joinin' me, girl.' Daryl said. He was annoyed tonight.

"Calm down,  _boy_. I just gotta pee, too." Rosita answered. She was still holding the bottle.

Daryl walked into the woods to do his business, and he heard Rosita walk in a few yards from him. He figured he ought to stay out here until she came back; the chick was drunk off her ass. He waited a few minutes, but heard nothing.

He walked into the woods where he'd seen her go. "Hey," he whispered, looking for footprints in the grass. He heard a moan to his right and pulled his knife out warily, turning toward the noise. He didn't hear anything else for a moment until another groan came from closer by.

He came up on a clearing and saw something lying in the grass across the way. He kicked it lightly and it didn't move. A shuffling was heard right beside him. Rosita was leaning against a tree, clutching her knee. Her teeth were clenched, and she was moaning in pain.

"What happened? Were you bit?" Daryl's foggy mind cleared as he realized what might have happened.

"No, the fucker came outta nowhere, and I fell," Rosita said.

"Can you walk?"

"Maybe," Rosita stood and winced. She took 2 shaky steps before her leg gave out and she almost fell down. Her intoxicated mind didn't really help.

"Here, I got ya," Daryl said, putting her arm over his shoulder.

"Wait," Rosita slurred. She bent down painfully and picked up the bottle. "Almost empty. Fuck you," she said as she waved in the general direction of the walker that attacked her.

Daryl helped her back to the store gently, but before he could get to the door, Rosita keeled over and the contents up her stomach were spewed onto the ground. Daryl sat her down gently as she threw up everything she had eaten that day. He stood awkwardly beside her, keeping watch for any walkers that may be attracted by the noise. When she was done dry heaving, she looked around glassy-eyed, then slumped over onto the ground.

"A'right, hey, here we go," Daryl grunted as he picked up the small woman and shuffled back into the store. Everyone else was asleep, and Daryl set a teary-eyed Rosita on a blanket next to his bed. She was covered in sweat, but had miraculously managed to not get any puke on herself. They sat in silence while Rosita collected herself, then she grabbed the blanket slowly and wrapped it around her body.

"Turn around," she mumbled.

"What?"

"I feel gross. So unless you wanna see me take my dirty clothes off, turn around," Rosita snapped.

Daryl looked away and heard a rustling of clothing, followed by the sound of Rosita trying to stand.

"What are you doin'?" Daryl asked, reaching out to keep her steady.

"I need new clothes, and my bag is over...there." Rosita pointed across the room and hit her arm on a shelf in the process.

"Listen girl, yer gonna wake up the whole damn room. Here." Daryl gave a shirt and jacket to her.

She took them gratefully and put them on. The shirt went down to her mid-thighs, and the jacket sleeves hung past her fingertips. She sat down on the blanket and handed Daryl the bottle. He took it and drank the last bit, knowing she wouldn't be needing any more.

"Thanks," she said. Her mind was starting to clear, from both the display outside and the clean clothes.

They were silent for a while. Suddenly Rosita said, "We're all fucked, right?" She said it so matter-of-factly. "So I figure, why not drink myself to death? Better than being bitten and dying a slow, painful death."

Daryl just watched her closely as she continued. "And ya know that saying, 'Old habits die hard.' Fuckin' true." She pointed drunkenly at the empty bottle. "Yeah, old habits die hard."

Daryl nodded, understanding. He didn't know why this chick was telling him any of this, but he understood. He drank because his brother drank and his brother drank because their father drank and his father before him. So yeah, old habits die hard.

Rosita watched him as these thoughts went through his mind. She saw a darkness come over him, but it was gone when he looked back up at her. She expected he would agree with her.

"Nah, I don't think we're fucked," Daryl said quietly.

Rosita was confused. "How can you not? Look around." She threw her arms wide. "We're sleeping on the  _ground_ , in a dirty convenience store, with dead people walking around outside. How are we ever gonna make it through this? And I know Abraham has this stupid belief that getting Eugene to Washington will cure everything, but is that realistic? Is it even possible that there  _is_ a cure? And if there isn't, I sure as hell don't wanna live this way for the rest of my life." Her voice was rising as she was becoming more panicked.

Daryl let her talk, then said, "But you will. You'll still do it, because you have to." Daryl fell silent, but added, "There's still good people." He chuckled lightly.

"What?" Rosita whispered now.

"Nothin'. A, uh, a girl told me that."

"She dead?" Rosita asked blankly.

"Nah, worse. She's in love with my brother." Daryl said it without his mind realizing what he'd just revealed.

"Oh, ouch. The little blonde girl? I feel for you."

Daryl scoffed. "Doubt it."

"Contrary to popular belief, I  _did_  have a life before the apocalypse. Anyway, I know what that's like. I also know what it's like to be with someone who doesn't feel the same way about you, which is what I'm guessing happened with you and that girl." She stared across the room at Abraham, asleep with his hand on his gun. "He saved my life. I was surrounded, and he came running in, slaughtering everything he could get a hand on." She talked slow, sleepily. "I don't love him. But I think he wants to love me. And I think I  _could_  love him. But I've never been one for love, ya know? I would just rather be friends and if something comes of it, then it does."

Daryl listened with a mix of sympathy and discontent. "How do you do that to someone?"

"I don't mean to, obviously. But I think he needs me. He needs someone. And he's somebody to hold on to at night. Nowadays, I think that having people to be with is important."

Daryl thought of Beth. Now that everything was out on the table with them, he could begin to see it her way. She needed someone when Merle wasn't there, and he knew now she did care for him. But that didn't mean she wanted to be with him. It didn't mean that she loved him. And no matter what he felt for her, in his mind, it would never be enough to make her love him.

Then Rosita flipped a switch, and she was back to the present. She grabbed the blanket and crawled up next to where Daryl was laying.

"Don't get any ideas. I'm just cold, and you're warm." Rosita meant it as a warning, but she seemed to lack conviction. They laid in silence for a minute, Daryl rigid beside the woman.

"See, somebody to hold on to," Rosita remarked, laughing quietly.

As it turned out, Daryl wasn't the one that got an idea. Rosita turned to him suddenly and said nothing, just laced her hand in his hair and touched their lips together.

_What the hell?_  Daryl didn't move.

Rosita moved her lips lightly, and Daryl's body warred with his fuzzy mind. His body responded to Rosita's kiss much faster than his mind. He kissed her back. The kiss was full of angst and sadness and anger and loneliness. Soon Daryl pulled Rosita on top of him, and the kiss deepened.

It felt good. It didn't matter that to Daryl that the girl on top of him was not Beth.  _Fuck her. She don't love you_.

Still he couldn't help but make comparisons. Rosita was heavier than Beth; she wasn't fat, but she was hardened with muscle. Where Beth was strong because of life after the apocalypse, Rosita was strong because of life  _before_ the apocalypse.

Her hands snaked up and down his chest, pulling his shirt with her. Daryl let it happen. They kissed sloppily, but Daryl's arms lain at his sides. The woman grabbed his hands and put them on her ass. He left them there.

But his sluggish mind snapped to attention when her mouth found his neck and bit down hard. He cried out softly and uttered, "Beth."

His eyes went wide and he stiffened, pulling Rosita off of him.

She was far gone by now, and she had heard him say something but she was too busy working on his jeans to process what he had said. "What?" the girl slurred with her eyes still shut.

"Uh, nothin'. Jus' tired. Ya oughta get to bed." And just like that, Daryl was closing his eyes and rolling over, his back to her.

Rosita looked at his back with confusion, then stumbled to her place next to Abraham, still wearing Daryl's shirt.


	12. Someday You Will Be Loved

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is a short chapter, but I'm setting up some stuff for the last few chapters! Enjoy! :)

The next day they travelled back to the cars and Abraham mapped out their route to DC. It would take a long time, longer than any of them had hoped for. But they were ready.

Beth noticed Daryl's somber disposition quickly. She could tell he was hungover, but he hadn't drank that much when she had fallen asleep with Merle last night. She watched him worriedly; the last thing he needed was to re-develop a drinking problem right now.

But it was more than that. It always was with him. After their make up of sorts the night before last, Beth felt they were in an okay place as friends. That's all.

She would ask if he was alright later.

* * *

Rosita approached Daryl a few minutes before they got on the road.

"Well you look like you didn't get much sleep," she said, laughing.

"Ya don't look much better," Daryl grumbled.

Rosita looked down, shamefully. "I know. I'm sorry. But, that stuff I said last night, you didn't tell anyone, right?"

Daryl shook his head as he packed up the truck.

"Okay. Because that's not usually how I am. I had a drinking problem, before. And that was the first drink I've had since this all started."

"Okay," was all Daryl said.

"But you know," Rosita cocked her eyebrow and closed the space between them. "You aren't too bad of a kisser."

Daryl didn't react, so Rosita continued. "So if you ever get lonely again… It looks like we're gonna be travelling together for a while." Rosita trailed her hand down the man's cheek before turning and walking away.

Something stirred inside Daryl. Not an interest in her, but definitely an intrigue. But still he forgot all about her when he saw Beth coming toward him. "Ready to go?" she asked.

"Uh, yeah," Daryl muttered, and they got in the truck. Daryl slept for a while; Merle drove. Then after lunch Beth got in the truck from the driver's side and refused to move over.

"Teach me," she demanded of Merle. He chuckled and got in the other side.

"D'ya even get your license 'fore all this, girl?" He asked warily.

"Yes," Beth scoffed, giving Merle her best innocent smile and crossing her fingers behind her back.

"Oh well how can I say no to that?" Mere laughed and stole a kiss before Daryl got in the truck.

It was a nerve wracking afternoon with Beth behind the wheel. She wasn't particularly bad, the truck was just not in the best shape. Beth was having the time of her life; she had driven since she was young, the tractors and plows in the fields. But Daddy would never let her drive his truck. It wasn't that hard. She hoped that Merle's tense posture and Daryl's white-knuckle grip on the windowsill were just for show. But wouldn't that be funny: if out of all the things to be afraid of this world, the Dixon brothers' biggest fear was Beth's driving.

But it was an enjoyable day. It passed the time well for the brothers, who  _possibly_  played up their reactions just to get a rise out of the girl. Daryl did his best to push back all thoughts of animosity for her, and truth was, he thought he was dealing with everything well.

By evening, Beth was done being driver and she let Merle take the wheel until they stopped for the night at an old house.

* * *

The next day was uneventful. The group was becoming tired of driving, but they knew it was to a good end. But by the next morning of driving with a crabby Daryl and Merle, who had a serious case of cabin fever, Beth was about ready to walk to DC. Everyone was feeling the same, so at lunch they switched cars and who would be in the car with the Dixons, but Rosita!

It was awkward when Merle was awake, to say the least. But even more so when Merle slept, because then there was nothing stopping Rosita from advancing on Daryl.

She wasn't throwing herself at him, but she sure as hell wasn't sitting like a saint. More than once Daryl felt her hand slide over to rest on his thigh. Daryl didn't particularly mind this. It was a strange sensation to have someone like her show an interest in him in this kind of world. They talked about what they did before the end of the world, but neither were too revealing. They talked about movies and the weather and stupid shit like that.

When they ran out of things to talk about, they just watched the road and listened to the roar of the truck. Daryl could tell Rosita wanted to say something about the other night, but hell if he was gonna bring it up.

Finally Rosita sighed and turned to him. "I'm sorry, alright? I know you don't really like me. I know that we just did that thing because we were drunk. I know, okay? So you don't have to avoid me like I have the plague-no pun intended."

Daryl didn't answer right away. After a minute, he said, "Yeah we were drunk. But it ain't like I'm mad about it. Not a big deal."

"Oh. Well okay." They didn't talk for another minute, but the tension in the car had grown since Rosita had brought up that topic.

Truth was, Daryl had liked it. He didn't want to have liked it. Some part of him was still holding on to his love for Beth. Another part of him, the smarter part, was telling him to get over her. To let her be.

And that's what he would do. He had a pretty girl sitting next to him, telling him that she liked him, and he was being a dick.

"It's like this. I didn't hate it, what we did. But all this shit with-" he stopped and looked at Merle, who was still asleep. "With Beth. I don't know what to think anymore. So I ain't gonna put myself or anybody else through that shit."

Rosita was taken aback. She was sure after he stopped her that night that he wouldn't even bring it up again. But now…

The tension while Daryl waited for Rosita to talk was high, to say the least. "You seem like a good guy, Daryl. Your past is your past. You don't deserve to be haunted by it, or by a girl who can't or won't love you like you love her. I'm not sayin' we're gonna fucking get married. It's what I was saying about somebody to hold at night: You need somebody."

Daryl didn't answer, just watched the road. Rosita slid next to him and laced her arm through his, and rested her head on his shoulder. It did feel nice, to just sit like this with someone.

If you would have caught him a year ago, he would have never been in this position with anyone, let alone some girl he had met a week ago. But things change, people change. Especially in this kind of life. Daryl looked at his brother. He had never seen such a change in a man. I mean, sure he was still a big headed, brutish asshole, but Beth had changed him in ways that Daryl didn't think anyone else could have.

He knew he wasn't getting over Beth soon. But that didn't mean he couldn't push those thoughts into the back of his mind and distract himself for as long as he could.

He grabbed Rosita and brought her to his lips. They kissed fiercely for a second, before Daryl felt the truck pull to the left and remembered he was driving. "Shit!" he lurched the truck back to the center of the road, lucky that he was the last one in the convoy.

Rosita was laughing as Merle jolted awake, looking around in confusion.

"What the hell are you doin'?" He asked.

Daryl and Rosita gave each other a look and kept laughing.

 


	13. Julie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So it's been so long and I'm turning into one of those apologetic, sincere writers, but I am so sorry and now that we're nearing the end, I'm going to try to get these last few chapters out soon! Thanks, as always, for reading. :)

**A Few Days Later**

They were about one day from DC. They stopped before it got too dark out and settled into an abandoned house. Rosita sat with Abraham and Daryl with his brother. But before too long, they were sneaking off to one of the bathrooms to get at each other.

"You're so much better than Abraham," Rosita sighed as Daryl put one of her breasts in his mouth.

Daryl just laughed and travelled his hand down to her waist, hooking his fingers in her belt loops. Her shorts slipped down her thighs slowly.

Rosita put her lips back to his neck with an intensity, and Daryl moaned low in his throat. Daryl's erection was growing, and Rosita pushed her body against him and ground her hips with vigor.

This chick. Daryl hadn't been this horny since before the world ended, except with-

They had been messing around a lot in the week or so they had been on the road. But they hadn't gone all the way, yet. This was more like the Daryl from before the apocalypse, the Daryl that went to bars and got drunk with his brother. The Daryl that brought home at least three different chicks a week. "Home" being whatever crusty motel he and Merle were staying at that week.

This was the Daryl that he would still be if the world hadn't ended and if the shit hadn't hit the fan and if he had never met-

He pushed those thoughts from his mind and threw himself at Rosita with a new found vigor. He practically ripped her pants off and massaged her roughly through her under garments. Rosita was reaching to undo the man's jeans when heavy footsteps landed outside the door and it slowly opened.

The moonlight illuminated the doorway, the red hair identifying the man. He stood for a second, while Rosita scrambled to find her shorts.

Rosita stammered out, "Abraham, I-" She stopped. There was no way to explain herself.

The man's eyes were dark as he stepped into the room. Daryl stood tall against him, prepared for whatever Abraham was about to say. As it turns out, he didn't say anything. He wasn't really one to talk things out. His fist came up with lightning speed and cracked into Daryl's jaw.

He fell to the ground with a thump, and his ears rung with the aftershock. He heard Rosita yell, "Abraham, stop!" before another blow landed, this time a swift kick to his side. He let out a cry, but wretched himself up and swung at Abraham. He missed, and Abraham hit him again in the cheek, splitting the skin.

"What the hell do you think you're doin'?!" Abraham roared at the bleeding man.

Daryl rushed him, slamming him into the wall. He landed a solid uppercut on the man before he was pulled off and restrained by Glenn and Rick.

Merle had Abraham in a headlock and looked about two seconds away from snapping his neck. The fight had drawn the attention of everyone in the house and now they crowded around the bloodied bathroom.

"You wanna tell me what this was about?" Rick asked the men.

They stared each other down, neither saying a word. Abraham pushed Merle away and got up first. Daryl wiped his mouth and spit out blood.

"We leave tomorrow." Abraham looked at Rosita. "I don't give a donkey's ass if you come or not, but Eugene and I, we leave at first light. Without the rest of you." He gestured to the group. With a look of finality at Rosita, he stalked out.

Rick eyed Daryl warily, then went after Abraham. Glenn helped Daryl up, much to the beaten man's disgust. He limped out, without even a glance at Rosita, who was standing in the corner, her shorts on but unbuckled.

Beth had watched the scene unfold in horror. She saw Rosita's disheveled look and Daryl's bare torso as the crowd cleared. It was obvious what Abraham had walked in on.

_No. He wouldn't do that._

Beth was shocked with herself as soon as the thought formed. She was  _jealous._  She was raging with jealousy. She couldn't straighten her thoughts. She snuck down the hallway and out the back door unnoticed.

It was well past nightfall and the silence in the neighborhood was only broken by the occasional groan of a walker.

The jealousy she had felt at the sight of Daryl and Rosita in the aftermath of something very obvious was surprising, if not completely unexpected. She was over that, over him. She had resolved to forget that part of her. She had told him to his face that she loved Merle.

And that she didn't know what Daryl was to her.

She sighed.  _Why am I so angry right now?_  Daryl wasn't  _hers_. She wasn't  _allowed_ to get jealous. So Daryl kissed another girl, so what? She could hardly finish the thought without anger and sadness welling up inside of her.  _Shit._ She was angry with him, yes. But she was more angry with herself for letting her emotions go unchecked for this long.

Her little body was racing with adrenaline from all the emotions she was trying to keep at bay. She wanted to scream and yell. But she knew that would help nothing.

So she sat on the steps until the sun rose on the horizon.

* * *

Rosita woke Daryl up early and gestured for him to follow her. He got up with apprehension and followed. They snuck out the front door and around the side of the house, careful not to disturb anyone.

"Are you okay?" Rosita cradled his beat up face, inspecting him with a worried expression.

"M'fine," Daryl answered.

Rosita dropped her hands and leaned on the house. They looked at each other for a long second.

"You gonna go with him?" Daryl asked, already knowing the answer.

"I have to. He saved my life, Daryl. And I mean, I think I do love him. That bullshit I said about not being one for love?" Rosita laughed. "Well, I guess that was before I figured it out. And beside that, if I have a chance to try to save this world, to be a part of fixing everything? I have to go."

Daryl nodded.

"And who knows? Abraham will probably come around. He would rather have people he doesn't like around him, than no one at all."

Again Daryl just nodded.

"But hey," Rosita touched his cheek lightly, "you're a damn good kisser."

Finally Daryl cracked a half-hearted smile, and they laughed. They kissed for a long time, before movement behind them snapped them apart.

Beth stood by the back of the house, stunned. "I-uh, sorry. I'm just gonna-yeah. Sorry," Beth mumbled and walked back around the house.

* * *

As the group started to wake up, Abraham and Eugene were packing their truck.

Rick tried to reason with him, but it was to no avail.

"My decision's final. We were gettin' along just fine without ya'll before, and we'll get along without ya now." He turned to Rosita with a softer, but still angry, expression. "Are ya comin' or not?"

She looked around at the group. Most of her glances were met with stares of indifference, some with anger for getting them into this mess. Finally she looked at Daryl, who looked back with a flat expression. It's not like they were emotionally attached to each other; this wasn't some fairytale, heart wrenching goodbye. So they were both going to be fine when she went. And despite all of Abraham's anger, she knew Rick's group would make it to DC eventually.

So she turned to Abraham and said, "Yeah."

Rick still tried to talk to him. "Listen to me-"

"No, you listen to me. You try to follow us, you try to stop us, I will not hesitate to kill you." With that, Abraham started the truck and peeled off down the road.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I know this was a little abrupt, but I needed a way to end Rosita and Daryl (yes, I had intended it all along, of course). That's not to say that I don't like how I ended them, I always like to show Abraham's violent side. >:)


	14. Walking Out The Door

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Second to last chapter guys! Be patient, but personally, this may be my favorite one! :)

Beth spent the day alone, ashamed of herself for everything she had done to Daryl. And herself. And what she would do to Merle. She had hurt Daryl so much already, and she was sure she would hurt Merle eventually, too, more than she already had. Everything she did had negative effects on the brothers. She should really just forget about both of them and let herself be alone.

But through all this self-pity and loathing, she knew she was just punishing herself for loving Daryl.

There. She admitted it.

It didn't help one bit, but at least she realized it.

She loved both of the men. She couldn't-wouldn't-pick between the two. So there was only one option. She needed to talk to them. There was little chance that they would take her decision well, but they would have to understand.

* * *

Merle was sitting at the kitchen table with Rick and Carol mapping out Abraham's route to DC and planning theirs accordingly. They would make it to DC, whether Abraham was with them or not.

Beth caught Merle's eye, and he told the men he'd be right back.

He followed her into the back room discreetly.

"Hey angel. Haven't seen much a you today," Merle brought her in for a kiss, but Beth pulled back slowly. "Somethin' wrong, doll?"

"Well, there's just some stuff I didn't tell you about the other night, when we were separated," Beth said shakily.

"Oh," Merle said, standing back a step. "Well?"

"When Daryl and I kissed, I-I liked it. A lot. And we were laying on the bed and I had this  _thought_ , and I stopped us right there and I told him that I couldn't do it." Beth stopped, looking worriedly at the man.

Merle was thinking that through. "And what was this _thought_  you had?" He almost sounded afraid, not angry.

Beth almost didn't say anything. She almost said forget it, it was nothing, and they would go back to being okay. But she knew she needed to tell him. "I thought… _I love you._  But I didn't tell him."

Merle wasn't looking at her. His body was stiff and his eyes were flat, cold. He didn't say anything for a long time. Eventually Beth couldn't stand the silence any longer.

"Merle, look at me."

His eyes snapped to hers. "Why? Why bother?"

Beth could hear the emotion in his voice. "Because I love you, too." Her voice cracked.

He scoffed. "Too. Well thank the Good Lord that you love me,  _too._ " His voice dripped with sarcasm.

"I just- I needed to tell you. I love you both, okay? I can't do anything about and I'm sorry," Beth said with a finality.

Merle watched tears fall from the girl's eyes

He was angry. Betrayed. But it wasn't a normal anger. He didn't want to hit something; he didn't want to hurt someone. He wanted to curl up in a ball and give up. Quit.

He had never felt like this in his whole life.

"So what do you want me to do about it?" He asked stoically.

"I don't know."

Merle didn't want to look at her. But as they stood there in silence, he made himself look straight into her eyes. He realized he still loved her. That wasn't changing. He just couldn't process this.

"I just-need some time," he mumbled and walked out without another look at her.

Beth watched him leave hopelessly. She followed him a few minutes later, but he was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

Daryl watched Merle, then Beth, come from the laundry room. Something was obviously wrong. Merle had looked like he got hit by a bus, and Beth's eyes were tear-filled.

Daryl thought he should follow her, see if she's alright. But she probably didn't want a thing to do with him after everything with Rosita. But when she hadn't come out two hours later, he decided to try to talk to her.

He opened the door to find Beth laying on the bed, turned away from him. He cleared his throat.

She spun around and sat up, rubbing the water from her cheeks.

"Oh. Why are you here?" She asked, the sniffling taking some of the ice out of her voice.

Daryl flinched at the anger that was still apparent, but asked "Ya alright?"

"I'm  _fine._ " Beth gave him a hard look; this time her displeasure was more apparent. She looked away, suddenly very preoccupied by a string on her shirt.

"Ya sure?"

Beth didn't answer, didn't look at the man.

"Okay." Daryl turned around and opened the door.

"Daryl, wait."

He looked back at her.

"Why did you do it?" Beth asked without looking up.

Daryl knew what she meant. "Dunno. I was pissed."

"You were, pissed?" Beth was mad now. Her mind told her she had no right to be, but the words spilled from her like vomit. "You were pissed so you fucked some girl after everything that happened with us?"

Daryl reacted. "Listen, princess. You ain't allowed to bitch at me for that. Soon as you jumped outta bed with me, ya got back in with my brother! And we didn't fuck, so you can sleep fine knowin' that." Daryl lowered his voice; they were still inside. "Right next to Merle," he growled.

Beth watched him helplessly. Her anger had been sudden, and she regretted it immediately. "No, that's not what I-I'm sorry. I'm not mad about that. I'm mad at myself."

Daryl watched the tears come to her eyes again and felt bad for yelling at her.  _Damn it._  Part of him said that he should be mad at her, but the other part argued that he had no right.

"I told Merle."

Daryl was startled from his mind and he looked at her quizzically. "I thought you already told him about that shit." He noticed for the first time tonight that Beth was shaking.

"No, I told him about what I-about that night. I told him that-" She struggled to get the three words out. That would make it real, and scary. And she couldn't bear saying it out loud and having Daryl walk out. She wouldn't be able to handle it. "That night in the tower. I meant it for both of you."

Daryl's face was a mask of apathy. Outwardly, he didn't move. But on the inside he was a mess. He couldn't process what she was saying.  _It? She didn't mean…? She meant it...for..._ both _of them?_ He struggled to wrap his mind around what the words meant for him.

The first move he made was to reach for her, but she shrunk back. The hurt and confusion showed on Daryl's face. Had he gotten it all wrong?

"No Daryl, you don't understand. I love Merle, and I told him about that night, and he walked away. I love him, and I just, I can't do this."

"What do you mean,  _this_? We already did  _this._ " Daryl motioned between them. His emotions were going from angry to upset to sad by the minute. "You can't think that walkin' away from this is the right idea."

Beth sank in defeat. "I know. I'm not walking away. I'm just saying that we-whatever I feel. I can't choose."

Daryl barely heard her; he was on a roll. "And my brother seemed pretty fuckin' fine with it." He flung his arms out for emphasis. "Hell, you were the ones that came to me that night!"

"I know! That was before he-"

"Before he what, Beth? Nothin's changed! You don't know how you feel about me, and I'm left hangin' by a thread, waitin' for you to figure it out. Do me a favor: when you figure it out,  _don't come find me._ "

"Daryl." He was halfway to the door. "Look at me." His hand was on the doorknob. "I love you."

The room was silent. The whole world was silent. It felt like time had stopped, and they were stuck in this position forever. Then time sped up, and Beth was knocked back by Daryl's body slamming into hers. At first she thought he hit her; her head hurt with the force of being knocked back into the wall. But as she got her bearings, she realized his face was centimeters from hers.

His breath fell into her mouth, and his eyes burned with the intensity of a man possessed. Daryl put both hands on her cheeks and captured her mouth in a fierce kiss. There was no space between them, not one centimeter dividing their forms. His hands moved from her cheeks to her hair, crushing her lips to his.

This was love. It was a different love than what she felt with Merle. Daryl was gradual and slow with his love. He was the type to slam her against the wall, but kiss her slowly. Grab her harshly, but then caress her cheek in the same second.

Merle was all passion and heat and love, and Beth lived for that. But Daryl was softer and lighter, and sometimes Beth needed that. She realized that was what she had been searching for, the answer she had found.

Daryl pulled back a miniscule amount to look at the girl. "I love you, too." He couldn't remember a time in his life that he had felt this good. This was all he had dreamed about since the day he met this girl. To hold her and kiss her and tell her he wanted only her.

They laid on the bed together for a long while, Beth recounting the scene with Merle. She was obviously distraught.

Daryl asked her what she would do if Merle broke up with her.

"I guess I would have to let him," she answered sadly. "I would deserve it."

"Hey, quit it. Ya treat my brother like a freakin' king. Better than any girl he's ever had before," Daryl said, stroking her hair softly. They smiled at each other briefly. "Really though. What  _are_ we gonna do?"

"I don't know."

"I think we can work something out. Merle's territorial, but he ain't unmanageable. We can work something out," Daryl said again for emphasis.

"Do you mean…?" Beth stared at him incredulously. She was appalled that Daryl would even suggest the idea, after everything that happened with them. She didn't let the fact that she had been considering this idea show in her expression.

"Hey, girl, it was just a suggestion. Seems like yer best option, since you're so determined to not lose either of us," Daryl joked.

Beth pushed him playfully. "Be careful, I might just take that back!"

"Sure. Whatever you say, angel." Daryl's sarcasm was evident.

Beth looked at him curiously. "Your brother calls me that, too."

Daryl half smiled. "When we were kids, like real young, before Merle started gettin' bad, we lived with our mom. We'd wake up on Saturday morning and get our own breakfast, and our mom would roll outta bed around noon, hungover and strung out. But she would still come down and see us making lunch, gettin' along, and she'd smile and say 'Look at my angels.'" Daryl paused. "My mom was a lot of things, but that's the one good thing I remember about her."

Beth hugged him tightly. "That's beautiful."

* * *

Beth wanted to give Merle the time he needed, so she resolved to wait for him to come to her.

The group left for DC two days after Abraham. They wanted to stay far enough behind Abraham to let him cool off. They took the main highway into DC, but as they got on, they realized it would be impossible.

A herd of at least a thousand was surrounding the city, all shuffling aimlessly on the highway. Rick spun his car around before the herd could see them, and the group followed suit.

They backtracked to a little neighborhood and got out the maps. There were no backroads into DC, and they didn't want to chance getting caught on another highway with a herd.

"Looks like we're gonna be on foot from here. We rest up here tonight, then we'll start out at dawn. One more night," Rick declared with hope, a rare occurrence these days.

Merle had been silent all day, refusing to look at either Beth or Daryl. Now he laid down in the house next to his meager belongings.

He had had plenty of time to think everything over. He wasn't mad anymore. He wasn't really even sad. He was coming to terms. He sure as hell wasn't letting Beth get away that easily. He loved her. That was never going to change. They would get through this.

He wanted to talk to her, but he wasn't sure how he would react. He didn't want to be mad, didn't want to yell at her, but he feared he would when they talked. He kept his cool as he found her and asked almost inaudibly, "Can we talk?"

He led them away from the others, who were winding down or already sleeping. She waited quietly for him to say something.

"Does he know? That you-you love him." Merle could hardly say the words.

"Yeah, I told him after I told you."

"And what'd he say?"

Beth bit her lip. "He doesn't want me to mess anything up with you." That was mostly true.

"Please." Beth looked up at him at the sound of his voice coming through clenched teeth. "Please. Don't lie to me."

Beth looked away. "He said he loved me, too."

Merle nodded, half expecting that answer. "I know, of course I know. My brother, he has this  _thing,_  where no matter what he does or what he says, you can't stop going back to him. And he's always there because he knows you're coming back. Guess he got that from livin' with me for this long." It sounded conceited, but Beth knew he was referring to Daryl's forgiveness of Merle's drug abuse before the apocalypse.

Beth couldn't look at the man, afraid of what she would see in his eyes. "Hey, look at me," Merle said sternly. He tried to push the cross tone from him. He touched her chin gently, one of the lightest touches they had ever shared and the first contact they had in two days. "I still love you. That ain't changed. Listen to me. That is  _never_ gonna change. We'll figure everything else out."

Truth was, Merle just wanted Beth in his arms. He didn't care if she loved everyone in the damn world, as long as she loved him too. As long as she was with him at the end of the day.

Beth threw her arms around his neck and captured his mouth in a kiss mixed with laughter. He picked her up and kissed her back.

"I was so scared. I love you so much."

When they parted, Merle nodded and asked. "So what do we do now?"

"I don't know. I can't lose either of you again."

Merle pulled back and looked at her sternly. "You love me?"

"Yes, of course I love you."

"And you love Daryl?" This time it was easier to say.

"Yes, I do."

"And yer not gonna let either of us leave, no matter what?"

"Nope." Beth squeezed him.

"Then there's yer answer. That's what yer gonna do." Merle smiled down at Beth.

"You're really okay with this? Because if you're not, you don't have to be with me. I'll understand."

"What part of 'I love you' do ya not get, girl? I ain't leaving, ever. Long as he don't hurt you, I can live with this." Merle said with finality. "I love you, angel."

Beth smiled and brought their lips back together.

 


	15. Middle of the Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this is the end guys! I love this story so much and I'm so glad you guys got to experience it with me. :) Enjoy!

There was no refugee camp. No safety in DC. The city was lost to the dead.

It hit the survivors again. The reality that this was the world now. They had believed that things would go back to the way they were before, but now all hope was lost. Again.

They got as close as they could, but they saw the crumbled buildings, the blackened roads. The armies, the leaders; they hadn't even tried to save it. There was no way they could make it through the city.

The group was devastated. They were scared and tired and hungry and now they were without a plan.

They found a gated community a good distance from the city. They cleared a house and stayed the night. No one talked, no one did much of anything, except make their beds and try to sleep. The next day they tried to figure out a plan.

They didn't have the heart to try for another city. If DC was lost, there was no hope left for any other city.

"This is a pretty secure place. We've got nowhere to go. Nowhere we  _can_  go," Glenn suggested.

"It isn't the best, but we'll make due with what we have," Rick grabbed Glenn's shoulder encouragingly.

Slowly the group began to nod in agreement. "We can take some of the wood from the houses and close off the gates, leave one open for runs," Carol offered.

"Clear out the houses, some surrounding areas for food and weapons," Maggie mentioned.

The group began buzzing about the plans. "...get our own rooms, real beds...plant some seeds in the garden...new clothes…"

They could start a new life here, just like at the prison.

* * *

They got to work. There were about ten houses on this street, between two cast iron gates well over 8 feet in height. They found all the tools they would need and more in the houses and started taking apart the smallest house. They took the floorboards, the doors, the furniture, anything they could use to barricade the gate. It would have to do until they could find a more permanent solution, like iron doors or a vehicle to put in front of it.

They worked hard and long until night began to fall. Carol, Tyreese, and Michonne had turned in early to plan a surprise for the group. When Rick called them in for the night, they all went to the first house to gather their supplies and claim houses. But the smell that wafted from the kitchen drew them in. What they saw made them all laugh out loud with happiness.

Tyreese was stirring what looked to be beef-well, squirrel-stew in a big pot, and Michonne was dividing up a few jars of beans and stale corn flakes onto plastic plates. Carol was in the dining room, where they had moved as many chairs as they could, and she was setting the table for what looked to be a survivor's feast.

They all sat down and looked around. This was the first formal place they had eaten since, well since the prison, and before that, the farm. There was enough food for big helpings, something they hadn't known in quite a long time.

Before the group could dig in, Beth and Maggie brought out a stack of empty plates. They set them down at the empty seat silently, an homage to all the people they had lost. Jim, Jacqui, Amy, Sophia, Otis, Dale, Jimmy, Patricia, Shane, T-Dog, Lori, Andrea, Hershel, Lizzie, Mika, Bob. There weren't enough plates to represent all of them, but the survivors understood. They sat in a moment of silence remembering them.

They knew that no matter how long time went on, they would never cease to love and remember the people they had lost. The hurt wouldn't stop; they had just learned to make room for it. Everyone that died, died a hero's death. And now they were free of this world, hopefully with their families and safe, and they would never know the hurt of this life again. It didn't matter if the world went back to normal tomorrow, these people had come into their lives for a reason. They were a family.

After dinner, they split up into houses. Rick, Carl, Judith, and Michonne took the first house and Daryl and Merle took the one across the street. Maggie, Glenn, Beth, and Carol moved into the one next to the brothers. Tyreese and Sasha took the final one. None of them felt particularly comfortable sleeping so far from the rest of the group, so they all chose the houses closest together, and closest to the front gate.

Beth flew upstairs with Maggie, and they jumped on the first bed they could find. "Called it!" Maggie yelled before Beth could say anything.

"Aw, come on!"

"Hey, I'm the one with a husband to sleep in a bed with! So I get the big bed!"

"Whatever," Beth said playfully. She got up and searched for the other rooms. She took the teenager's room, and Carol took the guest room.

* * *

Beth waited until she thought everyone was asleep before creeping slowly down the stairs. She felt like she was 16 again, trying to sneak out without waking her mom late at night. She reached for the living room window and jumped when a beam of light shone on her.

She shielded her eyes from the flashlight, already knowing who was probably behind it.

"Are you going to see him?" Maggie asked, matter-of-factly.

Beth feigned ignorance. "See who?"

"Beth. You know who." Maggie converted the flashlight into a lantern and set it on the coffee table.

"Yes."

"Figured as much."

"Maggie, don't be mad. I know you don't like them, but I do. I love him," Beth said with purpose.

"I know. I've known for a while now."

Beth's eyes went wide.

"Honey, you never have been good at being discreet."

Beth looked away from her sister, a mixture of shame and annoyance.

Maggie continued. "I have my opinions of him, yes. And I still think what he did with the Governor was awful. But we've all done worse kind of things just to stay alive. And I don't even  _want_ to know what's going on with you and Daryl. But I can see how you feel about them. I trust your judgement, just like daddy did. You're a big girl." Maggie smiled at her briefly, then got serious. "But accident or not, if either of those brothers lay a hand on you again, they better know that they've got another thing comin'." She pulled Beth into a tight hug. "Go. Life's too short to not be happy."

Beth held on to Maggie for a minute longer. "I love you," she said into her sister's hair.

"I love you too, Bethy. Be careful. And be back before breakfast," Maggie teased. She turned and went back upstairs.

Beth went out the front door, no longer concerned with being heard. She debated whether or not to knock on the man's door or try the windows. The men weren't expecting her, at least she didn't think they were. So she decided to knock.

She laughed out loud quietly to herself as she realized how  _normal_  this was. She was actually knocking on the front door of someone's house for the first time since she couldn't remember how long. Obviously it was still dangerous to be outside at night, but the group had secured the place as tight as can be.

Daryl answered empty handed, which was strange for him. There was always a weapon in at least of them.

"Hey." He smiled and took her hand. He pulled her to him, and they kissed slowly, a warm fire spreading through Beth's body.

"Well hey to you, too."

Daryl nudged them toward the stairs, and then Beth was swept off her feet, literally.

She let out a cry of surprise as Daryl carried her up the stairs, down the hall, and to a closed door. He gave her a look that asked,  _Are you ready for this?_  He pushed the door open with his foot.

She saw candles lit all around the room, illuminating the king size bed. It smelled faintly of stale cologne and through the flickering light she could see a shape lying on the bed. Daryl walked in and sat her down on the bed. She could tell he was trying to be gentle, but the result was rather ungraceful.

"Here. Signed, sealed, and delivered, brother," Daryl said, his tone half-joking.

Merle moved on the bed and brought Beth's lips to his. Beth laughed as they kissed; this was so unlike the brothers. She didn't know what to think.

As she moved to sit up, she realized that there was something else on the bed. She picked up what looked like a weed.

"Yeah, uh, dandelions were the only shit we could find," Merle said, breaking the kiss.

Beth laughed and brought their faces back together. "I love them."

Daryl cleared his throat.

"Mmm, thank ya, little brother. Now get yer dumb ass over here."

Daryl knelt down on the bed beside Beth and put his hands on her hips, his shallow breath ghosting over the back of her neck. Beth looked at both of the men, who looked back at her with lustful but loving eyes.

"Are you sure about this?" She asked Merle.

Merle nodded wordlessly. This is what they needed, all of them.

"And you're sure, too?" She turned to Daryl.

"Never been more sure about somethin' in my life," he answered.

Beth brought one hand up into Daryl's hair, and she twisted the other into the front of Merle's shirt. She pull lightly on both of the men, and then they were on her. Daryl wrapped his arms around her waist and splayed his hands out wide under her shirt. Merle kissed her fiercely, pulling her back to him with his mechanical arm so that Daryl's hands were smashed between their bodies. Wet kisses were trailed from behind Beth's ear to her shoulder; Daryl's teeth nipped at her temptingly.

She sighed with happiness. It was the only way to describe how this felt. She was purely, completely happy.

Her hands found the hem of Merle's shirt, and she pulled it off, trailing her fingernails down his chest. Merle let out a slow moan at the touch. Daryl's shirt hit the floor, along with Beth's quickly after.

Her porcelain skin shone in the candlelight like nothing Merle had seen before. Her skin was hardened by this life, but it held the softest personality he had ever was perfect. Daryl took in her body in awe similar to Merle.

Beth turned to face Daryl and captured his mouth. She bit his lip and pulled, automatically making his erection rock hard. Merle caressed her chest through her bra. She was so turned on in this moment. Everything around her was heat and skin and the two men. She kissed and touched and moved with a passion she'd seldom felt in her life before now.

Daryl reached down to the girl's pants and rubbed his hand slowly over the spot between her legs. Merle let her breasts free at the same time that Daryl's hand slipped beneath the two layers keeping him from pleasuring her.

She moaned quietly as Merle put her nipple in his mouth. Beth's hand grabbed him through his jeans, rubbing him down roughly. His moan rumbled against her small breast, only serving to arouse her more.

Daryl's hand on her sex wouldn't let her think straight. His rough fingers stroked her vigorously. "Oh yes...yes…" Beth moaned as he picked up speed. "Fuck, oh my g-yeah...fuck." Beth writhed against Merle as Daryl's finger entered her and his thumb continued to rub her clit. She couldn't take it anymore. She was about to-

Daryl stopped seconds before Beth's climax. She whined and pulled his hand back down her pants.

The younger brother laughed. "Can't let you have all the fun, sweetheart," he teased.

"Oh, you wanna see fun?" Beth got up from the bed and ran to the other side of the room. She licked one finger as seductively as she could and trailed it down her body. She reached her warmth and rubbed herself roughly. The brother's realized what she was doing, and they got up and grabbed her hands before she could finish herself off. They pinned her to the wall. "Oh come on, really?" she protested.

"Hey, you started this. We're just playin' along," Merle said as innocently as he could.

They brought her back to the bed and kept her hands pinned above her head. Both men knelt on the bed next to her face and let go of her hands so that she could undress them. She took them both down to their underwear, then caught Daryl off guard and pushed him to the bed and straddled him.

She crawled up his chest with a devilish look in her traced her hands down his arms, then back up. Then she moved up his chest, her nails barely scraping the surface of his skin. She splayed her hands out lightly over his lower abdomen, inches from the tent in his pants.

Her wet tongue licked long lines up his thighs; heat spread through the man. He grabbed her hair, hoping to move her blessed mouth closer to his package. She pulled his hands away and pinned them at his side. It was obvious that he could break out, but he was having way too much fun right here.

She teased him with light kisses through his boxers as his erection pushed painfully to be set free. "Beth, please…" Daryl moaned incoherently.

Beth didn't have the slightest idea where this confidence was coming from. It was like someone else had crawled into her mind with her and suddenly she knew all the right things to do, every movement to make the men writhe under her touch.

The girl sat back up and watched Daryl sigh at the loss.

Merle held himself through his jeans, turned on by the way Beth was pleasuring his brother. He caught himself thinking he was glad she didn't go any further with Daryl first, before him. She was _his_  first. But he pushed those thoughts from his mind. She wanted them both; he was still in shock as to why she wanted him at all, but he was never going to mess this shit up again. So he threw himself into her and what her body was doing to his erection.

"Lemme get some of that love, sugar," Merle drawled.

"Oh you'll get something," Beth pushed him down beside his brother. She wasn't gentle with Merle. Her nails dug into his chest, bound to leave red lines in the morning. She bit his neck fiercely and pressed her palm to his groin forcefully.

Merle groaned at the friction and thrust his hips into her hand. Beth reached into his boxers and set his member free. She grabbed Daryl's boxers as well and took him into her hand. She straddled one of each man's legs and stroked their cocks slowly. As their sounds of pleasure increased, Beth's speed adjusted accordingly. The man grew in size considerably.

She hadn't compared sizes, and truthfully, she didn't want to. That didn't matter. They were perfect to her, no matter what.

She took Merle into her mouth. She knew he needed her first. She bobbed her head up and down just like he liked it. The feeling of his dick hitting the back of her throat wasn't unpleasant, and when he grabbed and pushed her all the way down on his length, she performed with a newfound vigor. He let out a low moan and pulled her blonde hair free of the ponytail. The locks fell around her face lightly.

She shoved them out of her face and pulled off of him with a pop, giggling. "You're just tryin' to make this hard for me, huh?"

"I think yer the one makin' something  _hard_ ", Merle retorted with a suggestive wiggle of his eyebrows. "Plus, I think it's prettier down."

Daryl laughed out loud at Merle's answer, but agreed with his brother. "Yer the most  _beauuuutiful_ girl in the whole world." He mocked Merle, which elicited a laugh from both the boys. But his laugh turned to a moan when Beth's mouth assaulted Daryl's penis.

It felt so good that Darl didn't think he was going to last one minute. He was serious; he thought he was going to blow right then and there. But he got it under control, and Beth worked him over good. But then Beth's hands found his chest. Her nails ran down his abdomen in a way that made him crazy. He squeezed his eyes shut and shot his load into her mouth with a groan of ecstasy.

Daryl was embarrassed to have come so early. There was something about this fucking girl that made him lose his mind. And his self-control too apparently. He was breathing heavily as Beth sat up and wiped her mouth. She smiled down at him, and he couldn't tell if she was laughing at him or just smiling.

Merle, however, was pretty obvious about his opinion of his early arrival. "Little eager there, brother?" He joked.

"Shut up," Daryl said, only half angry.

"Hey,  _I_  didn't mind it one bit," Beth said, tracing a line down his arm.

While they shared a moment, Merle had other ideas. He pulled Beth back to him by the belt loops and pushed her under him. He shoved one of his fingers into Beth's mouth and she wet it, then he slid it into her hot pussy and curled it upward. She let out a breathy moan. Merle picked up speed.

Daryl licked long lines up and down Beth's abdomen, stopping just short of where Merle was satisfying the girl. Merle withdrew his finger slowly, and Daryl's mouth replaced it seamlessly. She squealed in surprise.

This time Daryl didn't stop. Beth dug her nails into Merle's shoulder, who had moved up to kiss her. Daryl's tongue was buried deep in her, twisting and turning, hitting her clit every few licks. Her heart was racing in the immensity of her first climax in at least two weeks.

She let out a long, loud moan as she came around Daryl's mouth. She laid back and took a deep breath in the aftershock of her orgasm.

She sat up between the two men. She looked at Merle, then Daryl. She loved them both so much. The two brothers had been through so much strife in their lives, and that was before the world ended. And after the world ended, obviously it didn't get much easier. But through all of it, they were still capable of love. Love for her. She touched both of their cheeks as they sat in front of her.

She decided in that moment that she needed to see them, all of them, completely exposed, and not just in the traditional sense of the word. Although as she turned to Merle, she almost lost her nerve. It seemed all of her confidence from before had flown out the window.

Slowly she reached for his arm. The metal contraption at his elbow was cold and foreboding. He had never taken it off in front of her; it was always taken off after she fell asleep and was back on before she woke up. And he had never taken it off when they had sex.

But now Beth cautiously unhooked the belt that held it on above his elbow. She pulled the belt free, and Merle's other hand grabbed hers. They didn't speak for a long minute, staring silently at each other. Slowly he let go of her hand and moved his amputated arm toward her. She caressed his cheek lightly before she slid the contraption off carefully. She didn't know what would hurt him. He looked away as Beth set the metal down and brought his arm up to her lips.

To say she wasn't a little disturbed would be a lie. But she would die before she let that show on her face. The arm stopped at the wrist and the sight there was not pretty. It hadn't healed right, and Beth was thankful for the low lighting in the room. She wasn't repulsed by the wound, she was repulsed that this is what the world could do to people.

Regardless, she kissed him from elbow to wrist slowly. She could feel his body shaking as she neared the end of his arm. She kissed the top of his wrist, right next to where it was cut off. He let out a shaky breath, and Beth could see there were tears in his eyes.

She kissed him again, this time on the mouth.

Merle never cried. He couldn't remember the last time a tear had actually fallen from his eye, but now he felt one slip down his cheek and fall on to the bed. He didn't like to look weak. He hated his hand, or lack thereof. He hated that it made him weak to even look at it. He should be strong enough to face that part of him.

But as he watched Beth kiss his arm, he couldn't help the emotions that came to him. Sadness, relief, confusion, fear. And so tears fell from his eyes as she kissed him.

Daryl watched this exchange intently. He had only seen his brother's handicap once before. He watched Beth kiss him and realized for the thousandth time how amazing she was. The love this young girl was capable of shocked him time and time again.

He was so deep in thought that he jumped when Beth put her hand on his cheek. Her hand trailed from his cheek to his neck to his shoulders. She gave him a brave look, then her hands moved beyond his shoulders, inching toward the tattoos, and subsequent scars, on his back. He didn't protest, didn't move.

He was scared, but not of rejection. He was scared of letting himself be cracked and opened up for her to see. He didn't want her to see that part of him, that dark past.

Her hands found the first scar, a thick diagonal line over his right shoulder blade. On his left shoulder blade, Beth felt a jagged "X." Along the middle of his back were light, thin scars too.

Her heart broke for him. She held his chin so he was looking straight at her.

He was stronger than his past; the same went for Merle. These men were strong and passionate and  _hers._

She kissed Daryl fiercely and pushed him back on to the bed. She pulled Merle down to her and he kissed her neck while Daryl kissed her lips. She could feel both men's erections on her, coming back with a fierce need.

Merle entered her wetness first with a growl. He pushed all the way in and pulled out again, setting an easy rhythm.

Daryl entered her already pulsating cunt as Merle thrusted into her. Beth whimpered at the size of the two men inside her, but Merle's lips on her back and Daryl's teeth biting her earlobe overruled the pain. She grew accustomed to the size gradually and was soon moaning into the pillow.

She felt so good around the brothers' members that both knew they really weren't going to last long. Merle's grunts fell into Beth's fair hair, and she leaned up with one arm around his neck and they kissed harshly. He put his bare amputated arm around her and brought her body flush with his, pounding into her harder with every thrust.

Daryl was losing his grip on the girl so he grabbed her ass and moved her hips up and down on his dick. She was being pushed and pulled in so many different directions. She was so turned on that she thought she was going to explode. Her moans were louder than ever before, partly because there was no danger of being heard this time.

"Oh fuck, yes! God!" Beth couldn't form a coherent thought as her climax built again inside of her. The men could feel themselves building as well. They thrusted hard into her pussy, throwing Beth over the edge. She clung to Daryl's chest as the force of her orgasm worked its way through her body. Merle, having reached the point of no return, pulled out of her first and Daryl followed suit.

Beth was thrown onto her back on the bed. The men splattered her with their seed. Loud moans fell from their slack-jawed mouths.

Beth cleaned her chest off with two fingers, keeping the brothers' gazes the whole time. She brought the fingers up to her mouth and flicked her tongue out to taste their cum mingled together.

She loved this feeling. The feeling that she could entrance these men, who were so much older than her in age and experience. She could command their attention, make them forget that the rest of the world existed.

Merle tore his eyes from her and grabbed the towel from beside the bed. He cleaned himself off, then gave the towel to Daryl nonchalantly. Daryl cleaned up and picked up his boxers from the other side of the room, throwing Merle's to him like it was the most normal thing in the world.

They laid down on either side of Beth. She hadn't bothered to find her clothes; the bed was too comfy, and even if she wanted to move, she was pretty sure she wouldn't be walking normal after that experience. Not for a good few hours, at the earliest.

Daryl laid on his side and ran the soft back of his hand down her cheek. They kissed lightly, and Merle brought his amputated arm behind Beth's head. She turned to kiss him, too. Merle brought her body flush with his, and Beth pulled Daryl closer to her on the other side.

She couldn't help but feel like they were one giant pretzel. But she would rather be a pretzel than have to be away from these men ever again. Her body was buzzing with the high of sex, and her mind was buzzing with the high of happiness.

"Merle. I love you, Merle. I love you more than words can express. You're a big-headed, ignorant-" Merle's face fell.

"Hilarious, strong, loving man. And I love you like I've never loved anyone before this, like love wasn't even an idea until I met you." She caressed his cheek as he relaxed back into her body.

"I love you, too, angel," he said with smile.

"And I realized that maybe I could love more than one person." She turned to Daryl. "And yes, you're rash and you're hot-tempered, but you're also caring and determined. I love you as if I would die without it. Without you." She smiled at him.

"I love you, too," Daryl said, the same small smile as Merle spreading across his face.

"I love you two like there wasn't life before I met you. This a new start. Now, in a world like this? You have to forget the past. There was no life before this. You are my family, my love, my life now."


End file.
